This was a beautiful write. It really caught my attention and made me want to keep reading. Its so true though.. society is incredibly judging about anything and everything. I really liked this stanza,
The world has been unfair
Judging with cold stares
A love that is rare
Leaving only a messy affair

^^ it was just so.. true. It screams the truth about society. If the love doesnt fit into what society sees as acceptable, then good luck basically. Such a weird and judgemental world we live in.

Overall a really good write, the flow was good :]
5/5

Promises we had delare
Feelings we had shared
Extreme extend, to be a pair
Secret bonds, publicly unaware
^^^

Did the gossip machine hit you and your lady as well, Azzza?
If there is one thing some people love to do it is to break up two people in love, just to live out their backwards notions on what love is supposed to be and enforce their narrow-minded ideas about society upon you.
HE WHO IS WITHOUT SIN, THROWETH THE FIRST ROCK.
The ones who scream the loudest are the ones who hide the darkest secrets themselves.
Follow your heart, my young friend...where there is love, there is a way. You have the right to love whomever it is you love and don't let anyone tell you otherwise!

Big hugs,

5/5 Ingrid

Well that si the first time i read such a lvoely ryhmed poem , and trully amazing simple words , made me trully get into this pice in everyof it words

The world has been unfair
Judging with cold stares

these were the lines i stod and said , what a saying to say , and soo true i can not even say it better myself ...

flawless one bro , and trully pleasure to read it atotal difren presepective indeed, and jsut lust to read again

^_^

Woah. This was another great poem, wonderful rhyming and just beautiful. One of the best love poem's i've read.

Great Job

Such an amazing and vivd write. I adore you style and love the way with such a few words you can convey so much. There is such a boldness within this poem that it mesmerises me from the start.

Each stanza is perfect and conveys different emotions that errupt so brilliantly with each line.

"The world has been unfair
Judging with cold stares
A love that is rare
Leaving only a messy affair"
^^^
Such sincerity and yet hard cold truth at the way society would turn against people and judge though not aware of the truth. An excellent stanza that stood out the most.

I really like this poem and would like to see many read it

The problem with colloquial language is that there are so many ways to express a feeling that a large group of people are not familiar with

“Cresent coat that you wear
Till death that you had swear
Thickness that is not easily tear
Caution and always prepared”

I would be more comfortable reading it this way

Crescent coat that you wear
Till death that you would swear
Thickness that is not easy to tear
Cautiously you are prepared

Promises we have declared
Feelings that we had shared
Extremely extended, to be a pair
Secret bonds, publicly unaware

The world has been unfair
Judging with cold stares
A true love that is rare
Leaving only a messy affair

Bloodsheds placed everywhere
Leaving me hopeless with despair
Nightmares couldn't even compare
AS crimson dust fills the air

Wearing my star coat with six pockets
I still hold on your heirloom locket
Would you cover me up with a jacket
And take me away to another planet?
\
the passion and thought that went into this one has earn a high score

Wow., this is very beautiful. You took this poem to another level not like the other ones like i love you and i miss you what not. You just wanted to be somewhere else and it seems like you wanted that person somewhere else with you. I really enjoyed reading this and thank you for wanting me to comment on this. :] very well.

keep it up.
keep on writing.
love always and forever.

I agree that this poem has very much potential but the english seems very off in places, which for me takes away from the credibility of the poem. However, when i read what michael suggested the poam to read as, i would have given that a 5/5. I did not vote for this poem as is. sry

Uh. I believe Michael is right on the "people not being able to understand it" aspect of this. I'm very confused. I liked the way he wrote it better.. sorry lol, but actually, now i'm rather interested in what he called "colloquial language" because I don't know what that is. Interesting. Well.. I understand the meaning of it, and it is a very good write, i just dont know how much I'll allow myself to critique, since I don't understand the actual way of writing, So.. I'd rather just praise this. sorry i couldn't be of more help.
5/5

Is this poem not somewhat about the holocaust? star jacket with six pockets? blood shed everywhere? maybe a jew and a german fell in love? and that is why the love was shunned? no one has mentioned the thoughts that this poem could be centered around "Hitlers germany"

This is a very heartfelt poem. It has a great rhyme scheme.

Again, another great poem. The flow, again, is excellent. You are an amazing writer. Best two lines for me...

"The world has been unfair
Judging with cold stares"

So true. Our world is very judgemental. Great poem<3 I'd love to hear more, unfortunetly I'm too busy to comment more, but I'll take a look later lol.
5/5

Your writeing is filled with alot of emotion and i can feel it 5/5

Very well done... I can almost feel myself in this poem...yay...5/5