Comments : First

  • 10 years ago

    by Faithless

    I call out your name
    to have you stand near me
    You turn around but then
    I wake up from my sleep.

    ^^^ I like how you open up the poem having to call ur lover's name
    but when he turns, it's only it ure dream

    I hear your voice
    and it sounds oh so clear
    But its only in my head
    cause you're no where near

    ^^ Here you have shown wahat you have shown in the 1st stanza
    but this time it's the sound version

    I stare are the stars
    shining oh so bright
    You used to be the one
    guiding me with your light

    ^^ I like the idea of you using star representing him to be your
    of your guidance.Btw I think you meant 'at' the stars instead of 'are'??

    Where are you now
    I wish your heart knew
    That even after all this time
    I'm still loving you

    ^^ Aww this is really sad after all of the times tt u have gone thru
    with him, he still roams in ur heart

    Countless memories
    in a million photographs
    We were so in love
    yet we still cross paths

    ^^^ Wow i must say that this is the best of all the stanza
    The way you picture this is absolutely fantastic.

    I miss so much about you
    that it brings me to tears
    You were my first love
    the one ill talk of for many years

    ^^^ What a great way to end this. It is trues that for some 1st love
    is truly the deepest and the sweetest.

    Overall I must say that you have painted this memories beautifully
    and you have done a fantastic job on makig it rhyme.

    Excellent write
    5/5

  • 10 years ago

    by Nee

    That was good hunnie =)
    I only gave it 4/5 to tell you that you wrote much better than it.

    Where are you now
    I wish your heart knew
    That even after all this time
    I'm still loving you

    I don't know why this stanza gave me chills..even though it's not my first time to read something like that..maybe because of my state too.

    Keep writing.
    You should give more thoughts to poetry =]
    Love you xxx

  • 10 years ago

    by Brenden

    This poem reminds me of my first love. I can really relate to it. I love your poems your're one of my favorite writers!! Great piece!

  • 10 years ago

    by Em

    Beautiful. Flawless. Perfect.
    "Countless memories
    in a million photographs
    We were so in love
    yet we still cross paths" < I love this stanza.
    5/5, Em

  • 9 years ago

    by JAY Poet

    Countless memories
    in a million photographs
    We were so in love
    yet we still cross paths

    I miss so much about you
    that it brings me to tears
    You were my first love
    the one ill talk of for many years

    omg dora i love it it makes me remember me and my first and its so true 5/5