Comments : The Twinkling Midnight Sky.

  • 15 years ago

    by Poet on the Piano

    "The twinkling midnight sky lies above me
    dazzling stars are scattered like diamonds"

    Nice simile here, and the title was very intriguing to me too.

    "Delicate crisp cut grass blankets the ground"

    I love how you use the word "blankets" very creative and original.

    "a place embracing me with tranquility.
    the gentle wind whispers a sweet melody."

    Beautiful descrptions, just reading this calms my heart and soul and has me captivated every single word you have written.

    "Tasting the clean air with every breath,
    I realize there's no place I'd rather be,
    all my fears and worries have subsided,
    leaving me to ponder with my thoughts,
    escaping to a world where only I exist."

    Excellent ending, I like how you just don't give details but you tell how you really feel about it all especially in this last stanza. You also apply some of the five senses, which really helps the reader visualize. I hope you do good in your English assingment, because this piece was a real masterpiece showing what amazing things nature brings, peace happiness and mesmerizing beauty. 5/5 from me, take care and have a great weekend!

  • 15 years ago

    by Mr. Darcy

    Temps,

    ..an ahhhh place! Wow, this certainly sounds like my kind of place. The thing with these types of places is that everyone's place would be unique to them. Okay, lets read about your place..

    Title:
    A calming image all by itself: A clear night sky, in this stars will twinkle. The time of the day - midnight, so this suggests either the beginning of a day, or the end? Lets read on..

    Stanza 1:
    Line 1: The title repeats itself here, not sure this is a good thing? However this amazing view lies overhead which suggests you are lying down. This could be on a blanket on a warm summers night, or maybe in a car, who knows?

    Line2: From this vantage point the night sky is in full view. I can see the image you arte creating - a night sky, vividly clear and with more stars than any human could ever count. They must look like Christmas lights, gently flickering, very pretty and hypnotic.

    Line 3: Ah, the answer to my question - On a grass blanket you lie whilst gazing up at the heavens, loosing yourself in the majesty and magnitude of the universe. How small we feel beneath such vastness?

    Line 4: Absorbing the ancient universe, feeling it above, around and right through your skin. I imagine that it could feel just like this, like an enormous embrace.

    Line 5: Though wrapped up in this calm of night sky a waft of breeze sweeps gently around you. On this breeze there is an almost angelic song that blends perfectly with this serene feeling.

    Stanza 2:
    Line 1: I imagine this delicate melody brings your sense alive, so you become 'heightened' and aware of everything around you, even the taste of the air.

    Line 2: With a senses sparking like electricity running through them, magnifying their impact to you, it is no wonder that there would be no other place to compare. Who would want to leave this enchantment? Not you that is for sure!

    Line 3: To be in a place of utter bliss, where a person could relax and feel at peace with the world and with themselves would certainly melt any worries into insignificance.

    Line 4: Thoughts would enter a mind that was relaxed and so any thoughts would be at peace too. There would be a clarity of thought that would be impossible to find outside of this 'ahh place'

    Line 5: Just you and the molecules of the universe, time would stand still and only you would exist in perfect harmonious bliss.

    Temps, I think I became a little engrossed in your 'ahh place' you described it so well that I was able to imagine how it would feel for me too. That is credit to you and your ability for creating images that are clear by just using words.

    Well done

    Michael