Never.

by XoXoBriannaoXoX   Feb 16, 2009


I have never hurt you...
i have never broken your heart...
so why must you do this to
me,, why did this have to start?

you took my heart out of my chest
ripped it into two...
now that your gone what shall i do??
should i cry should
be happy that your not here to hurt me anymore?

all i can think about is how much i loved
you and now im lost in my own body...
why did you leave me... why did you lie
you said that you loved me...

but i guess you loved her not I...

p.s.--- i wrote this about my ex..
its not very good but i was really depressed

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Latest Comments

  • 14 years ago

    by KJ

    You have a note at the bottom saying that you know it is not good; but with the emotion you put into it, it is much better than good.

    "I have never hurt you...
    i have never broken your heart...
    so why must you do this to
    me,, why did this have to start?"
    ^^this was the best stanza of the whole poem. you really do a fantastic job with the intro in all of your work.

    "you took my heart out of my chest
    ripped it into two...
    now that your gone what shall i do??
    should i cry should
    be happy that your not here to hurt me anymore?"
    ^^third line, try this: 'Now that you are gone, what shall I do?' also, this stanza sort of got out of whack. umm. for the 4th line: maybe you should bring the second 'should' down to the 5th like and instert an 'I' afterwards.

    "all i can think about is how much i loved
    you and now im lost in my own body...
    why did you leave me... why did you lie
    you said that you loved me..."
    ^^the 'you' in the second line should be brought up to the first line

    "but i guess you loved her not I..."
    ^^insert a comma after her, to add a dramatic pause

    Overall not that bad of a poem like you think. True poetry is just expression, and you did a great job of expressing your feelings in this one. So I gave it a 4/5.

  • 14 years ago

    by Brennan P

    I understood the emotions going through it but it does need a lil help ill give it a 4

  • 15 years ago

    by Shelby Baxter

    Hey.i know what you mean..i just got broke up with by my boyfriend...and it wasnt a very pleasant time..but this is still pretty good :)