I really enjoyed this poem! Not only did you two paint a superb picture for all to marvel at, but there was an actual meaning behind it. This poem shows the personal cost of war that is so often forgotten. A masterful mix of imagery and metaphor!
Wow this collaboration blew me away. I know im repetitive in saying how powerful all this is but really... you are an amazing poet. I especially like this due to its lack of rhyming, this just seemed to hit home more akin to my style so I could relate better.
This poem shows the true colours of war and the emotions sewn into it.
Wow, this poem was truly amazing !! You both have done a spectacular job.
The beginning was great, the words captured my heart from the start. Then, the rest flowed wonderfully with great imagery.
One of my favorite stanzas :
"He held his rifle with more pride,
than he held his sweetheart at night.
Marched in unison in naivety,
marched in legions of loyalty
into an August sunset."
It carries a great meaning and combined all sorts of feelings that a soldier have or represent. The pride of protecting his country, the love for his sweetheart, the unity among his fellow soldiers and the loyalty he owes to himself and the country.
I also loved how you set the scene throughout the poem "Blackened souls upon the ground,
bullets flying from left to right,
his fellow soldiers fall to cover,
a near miss to his head, he fell to"
It makes the poem alive in the readers' minds and not only thier hearts.
At last, the ending brought tears to my eyes as it was so perfectly written and very sad how he holds his gun and wishes it was his beloved.
It is def. one of the best poems I have read and one of my favorites. Great work again.
Depressing. Though very interesting; it held my attention throughout the read. I loved the imagery I was able to take away from each stanza...it really gave it so much more meaning. It was like hearing a narrative of a soldier's forgotten war story. His choice of war over love and all of the intimate battles in between. I really enjoyed this. I think it's very well written and was carefully thought out. 5/5.