Wow, some excellent wording here Cara. A simple yet saddening story with a consistent flow.

'But as he walks into his empty house, the dishes still unclean,
The photos of his life still hang, telling how his life had been
He drops to his knees and his hands hold his sweaty face
He feels his heart breaking, his breathing begins to race'

Excellent stanza, although I think the last line would read better as 'his breath', just because it jars the flow a bit.

I think the last two lines of the poem could be swapped round. I think it'd be so much more powerful to have that penultimate line as the last line. Just a suggestion. :)

Great work though. :)

I cannot imagine the pain someone would feel if this happened to them. The pain is palpable in your words and it is indeed sad. To have to walk into a house every day and see the reminders of a family that you were responsible for killing, would drive a person insane or to drink to erase the memory if only for a while. An excellent write. 5/5

Cara!

What a sad write! Did this actually happen to someone you know?
Regardless, this is a beautifully written piece, with lots of imagery in it.
You did really well, my friend!

*hugs*

5/5 Ingrid

Very deep and sad poem.

For we as humans at a point in life become the betrayors of those who we love,and monsters of the image that reflects in the mirror.

nice work..

Misterious

Wow cara after a long silence, you came back with a masterpiece. I love the storyline that you have crafted into the poem. It was certainly a sad write indeed.I can just visualize all the sadness that the protagonist is going through, having his love ones being taken away from him. You have certainly made the story more interesting adding the twist at the end of it, i totally didn't expect that.

Bow to cara

Excellent job
5/5

Wow, this was a wonderfully written poem, the story was so full of emotion and just wow i'm speechless. This is one of my favourite poems of yours.

Great Job
5/5

Hello Cara..I've missed a lot of poems recently.
This poem started so weak but ended up much more better.
your rhyme went off this time, the last poem I read before this your rhyme and wording was much much better than this.
I want you to understand that when I say this, it means that while I'm reading the poem I can expect the rhyming word in the next line to the one I'm reading, the well-flowed poem means that the rhyme scheme is new, the rhyming words are precise and the words are not for the poem, the poem is for the words.

His first child was going onto uni, what a success she would be

Cara, never use abbreviations in poetry, poetry is a language, not slang.
I understand you did this so as not to lengthen the line more, you can just try to omit an unnecessary word in the line..maybe it would go like this:
"His child was going onto university, a success she would be"
I omitted two words by the way.

After all I'm glad you're trying :]
Keep it up
My honest regards
Nema

I just love this poem. It's very sad write. Your description is so clear and strong that I can visualize the whole thing. Wonderful write!

Sometimes, in this life cara , we always , hold on our hadns blood of others ... sometimes we kill the body sometimes we kill the soul...

is there anyone in this life that have clean hands?

i can not imagine that man life ... with that situation...

i can not be in his place i would never get out of that ball... that blame ...

it is from the closeset pepole to our hearts , that we get hurt the most !!

wonderfull poem cara, after all this time i had time to read your work ,

i love it and miss it !!

CJ

Your way of writing and creating natural flows of flawless images is just amazing and it goes straight to your heart :)
what can i say ?
just keep shining

Well done 5/5

A sad poem.. that is so vividly expressed! Great images... superbly penned. The reader can really fell the sadness in the poem. Extremely well done.

Hey cara. i really like this poem. u are really talented. 5/5 for this. i enjoy reading it. by the way excellent job. a great piece of poem from u. ill add this to my fav list. =)

Oh my goodness. I can't believe how emotional this poem is. It puts in perspective how people will feel if this ever happened to them. 5/5, Em xx