Ever so sweet...

by Chris   Mar 18, 2009


Ever so sweet
is the taste of your tongue.
But oh so bitter are the things that you've done.

Ever so sweet
is the voice on the phone.
But oh so bitter knowing you're not alone.

Ever so sweet
is the sound of your breath.
But oh so bitter is the emptiness left.

Ever so sweet
is the sight of your face.
But oh so bitter is the heart you embraced.

Ever so bitter
is the time that we shared.
But oh so sweet knowing you are impaired.

Ever so bitter
is the way that i feel.
But oh so sweet is my end of the deal.

Ever so bitter
is the way that I felt.
But oh so sweet is it watching you melt.

Ever so bitter
is the watch when it winds.
But oh so sweet is the distance behind.

    report violation
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Latest Comments

  • 16 years ago

    by Sarah

    Well... I think it was a great poem.. Enjoyable & sweet 5/5

  • 16 years ago

    by The Prince

    You wanted critiscm? Okay:

    Well, I liked the idea of this but what you've done here is told the reader everything and not shown them through narrative. If you tell the reader, the reader becomes detatched and that's the last thing you need I'm not saying it's a bad poem, you'd have you rewrite it if you were going to take my advice but just for future reference.
    Plus I found it rather confusing, the reader's view of the other character was sort of love/hate and I didn't quite get where you were going with that.
    Your flow was good, and the form was okay, the repetition made the poem predictable though, which is the shame with poetry that does that.

    Regardless, I see what you're doing and it's a good write nevertheless.

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