Comments : Break the Silence, Break Yourself

  • 11 years ago

    by Caroline

    Wow, it's simply amazing. I'm pretty sure you just described my life. I really REALLY like it.
    5/5

  • 11 years ago

    by Tripp

    Wow. That is awesome. Fantastic diction/use of language, your rhythm was pretty solid, and the order of progression was logical. Definite 5/5 from me.

    By the way, I liked the repeat motif/imagery of not only the clock, but falling to the floor as well. They both added a sense of drama or suspense to the poem. Excellent Job.

  • 11 years ago

    by Michael D Nalley

    Wow this one really made me think and the wording and flow is excellent
    5>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>.

  • 11 years ago

    by Darien

    I must say, this is quite an interesting poem, after reading the previous poem, this is a huge step up. I didn't bother commenting on the poem, because my opinions were mine alone, and probably wouldn't have been a good critique.

    Anyways, this was a really well thought out poem. You had a lot of vivid imagery in your piece. The rhymes were very creative, and good, except for the last one. I always find the word 'again' hard to rhyme because how I say it, doesn't rhyme with how you would. I pronounce it a-gain. Anyways, that's just my own opinion. Other than that it was a very moving poem, with a lot of amazingly well thought out lines.

    "Lets hide from ourselves today
    So we never confront what we fear
    Near life and death experiences
    Never there but always near"

    I really enjoyed that verse the most, it was really profound. The last line of that verse seemed very paradoxal, which created a really enigmatic vibe. Good stuff overall on this poem. I'm hoping to read more like this from you.

  • 11 years ago

    by No Need For A Name

    I ratehr enjoyed this poem. The flow seemed off to me in certain places, but it may have just been the way in which I interpreted it. I fould it quite powerful and interesting. Thank you

    Peace and prosperity,

    (RKD)

  • 11 years ago

    by No Need For A Name

    I rather enjoyed this poem. The flow seemed off to me in certain places, but it may have just been the way in which I interpreted it. I fould it quite powerful and interesting. Thank you

    Peace and prosperity,

    (RKD)

  • 10 years ago

    by Britania

    Wow, that is really profound! That is very close to the life I live.
    Very good job, it is so powerful.