Azzza,

You are talking about nuclear bombs here, aren't you?

Beautifully written, especially the last line really hit a nerve with me!

Good job!

*hugs*

5/5 Ingrid

Kira
What a sad poem. Wonderful imagery and word choice.

Kingdom of prophecy, commandments and trinity
Faiths flourishes throughout the century
Revelations seems to provide no remedy
Oh God when will I ever see tranquility?

This last stanza really grips the heart. It is so sad what the world is becoming. If only peace and tranquility would fill the hearts and souls of people once more.
Excellent job!
Take Care
Cindy

The only problem I had with this piece was the sentence lengths and structure; other than that, there was some great imagery here, and you've used some execllent descriptions:

'As it kissed the ground, planting a mushroom
The earth is left sunken, engraving myriad cracks
Tidal waves of bodies coalesce in mass volumes
As cross and crescent domes were coated in black'

Probably the best stanza, really enjoyed it.

I'm not sure about 'flying abilities', it just jolts the flow a bit.

Another good write from you though

Vivid images portrayed by your words. This verse was especially touching to me because I had never thought how innocent children could mistake rockets as flying angels, not knowing those rockets will kill.

Capsules that soar in sparkles
Enthralls children with their flying abilities
Mistaking them for wingless glowing angels
Not knowing in seconds, there will be casualties

Well done. 5/5

HI, this poem rings true pretty much for our whole planet, tranquility seemingly elusive to all who would have it.
Well done Kira this poem carries a strong and important message keep up the good work

Grant

Azzza my friend..
I read this poem once but I had to be free-minded to comment and say my honest opinion.
First off, you did such a fabulous work with the descriptions and the wording, I can see that you almost worded is perfectly.
The ending was my fave part.

Looking up to the chalky sky
Clouds fills with raining missiles
Showering down before the innocent's eyes
Rendering thousands to live in exile

- This stanza held so much pain and killing of the innocents' lives. very greatly penned.

Little things to criticize:
- Some lines were too long for an aBcB rhyme.
especially this one:
"Not knowing in seconds, there will be casualties"
- Maybe you'd like to replace it with this one.? :
"Unaware in seconds, will be casualties".
I'm just suggesting anyway.

"Clouds fills with raining missiles"
- did you mean "Clouds filled with" ?

"Faiths flourishes throughout the century"
- this one should be "faith flourishes" OR "faiths flourish", depends on which one you wanted to pen.

"Revelations seems to provide no remedy"
- this also has a grammatical mistake..should be "revelations seem".

- As for punctuations..I suggest you place a comma after "Oh God" and your poem kinda lacks some punctuations.

Other than that..well done with the poem :) I really love it.
Write on

5/5 Kira

"Land of the golden dome
Decorated in crimson hue
Artworks made up of flesh and bones
Patterns resembling love ones you knew"

^^What a beautiful opening..so much melancholy yet nevertheless so elegantly written.

"Looking up to the chalky sky
Clouds filled with raining missiles
Showering down before the innocent's eyes
Rendering thousands to live in exile"

^^I don't think you need "the" in the third line, it seems to flow better without for me.

"Capsules that soar in sparkles
Enthralls children with their flying abilities
Mistaking them for wingless glowing angels
Not knowing in seconds, there will be casualties"

^^One of the strongest stanzas in the poem, the emotion and depth and meaning here is incredible, wonderfully penned.

"As they kissed the ground, planting mushrooms
The earth is left sunken, engraving myriad cracks
Tidal waves of bodies coalesce in mass volumes
As cross and crescent domes were coated in black"

^^I'm finding this piece to become stronger and stronger throughout, I don't want it to end.

"Kingdom of prophecy, commandments and trinity
Faiths flourish throughout the century
Revelations seem to provide no remedy
Oh God, when will I ever see tranquility? "

^^...I don't even know what to say here, except that I'm literally blown away..this is a beautiful, moving and thought provoking write.

The imagery you create throughout this piece is stunning..creates such striking visuals in the reader's mind, while the content and wording are just as beautifully written..

Fantastic write.

Reading this poem, there's nothing left to say. Your words just blow me off my feet. I love it . Very well done, kel.

Your work is impressive. Imagery and wording was spot on. This was so vivid I could feel the pain and the devastation of the innocent. Good job

Such a touching read Azzza and the imagery you created so very heart wrenching.

Each and every stanza really makes one think of your ending line.

You have penned a piece that will touch many!

This is extremley inspiring ...and FLOWLESS..he rhythm was amazing.

the word choice was just perfect,,and the imagination u have let crawl around was,,,breath taking...

ut opening lines caught me deep inside

Land of the golden dome
Decorated in crimson hue
>>> what a poet are u ?..this is so poetic..amazing

Artworks made up of flesh and bones
Patterns resembling love ones you knew
>>how harsh and how brilliant

Looking up to the chalky sky
Clouds filled with raining missiles
>>omg I can even image it...this was perfect

Showering down before the innocent's eyes
Rendering thousands to live in exile
>>>>showering down?? I bow for ur poem.

Tidal waves of bodies coalesce in mass volumes
As cross and crescent domes were coated in black
>> found these lines the strongest through this particular stanza..

Kingdom of prophecy, commandments and trinity
Faiths flourish throughout the century
>>> woaaaaaahhh u blew ma head offf...over here...what a creative stanza u versed to end ur poem

>> ur a poet with all means...
never stop writing
it suits u a LOT