This poem eats away at my brain with metaphorical teeth ... kind of makes me feel like I'm in a Tool video.
"Life is the island,
and death is the ocean"
^ When you read things like that, you just -know- that tomorrow is going to be a good day.
11 years ago
by The Prince
I nominated this last week and I hadn't got the chance to comment it yet. First of all, congratulations on the win! Fully deserved!
The second stanza was the star of the show, whereas the first was just an appetiser of what was to follow it.
'Life is the island,
and death is the ocean.'
This made me think of futility, that we're surrounded by death and we're all just waiting for the tides to take over and smother us.
'Stars, however, won't
Nice contrast in imagery here - we get the beauty of the stars and the sickening connotations of intestines.
I found the flow of the second stanza to be well thought out and fragmented, you've used strong consonants to develop a structured sound and tone.
'Human art is to transform
into the corpse. '
These few words are thought provoking and hold more meaning than the rest of the poem, I think. This can be interpreted in many different ways, everything ends with death; take music for example. Always ends in silence...
'Godlike art is to transform
into the emotion. '
The ending wasn't expected and I loved how you changed the words around to hold a new meaning.
I won't go into what this poem said to me - but I will say it's one of the best poieces I've read in a while and well done on the win.
Congrats on the win, Nix, it's very well deserved.
I love this piece, it's so deep and the metaphors that you used complimented the whole atmosphere throughout the poem. Amazing, really. I like your choice of words from the beginning to the end, along with powerful message behind them.
Greatly done, enjoyable and refreshing.
Nix, congrats on the win. Doesn't it feel good to come back on the site and write a new poem and get a win. It was definitly well deserved.
I'd also like to say thank you for the comment you left upon my poem. It was really good to see you back again i've missed your writing. It has always been a favorite of mine and I hope you still know that.
You know the meaning of this piece was definitly complemented by the metaphors you created. You've always been wonderful with the creativity which allows people to enter into your mind. The meaning within this poem was definitly one of the best I have read by you, although not the best piece as I'm still caught up in the love poem you wrote. It is my favorite.
"Life is the island,
and death is the ocean."
These lines above really caught my interest. I like the fact that I felt as though you were surrounded by sea and the whole safe haven you have is the island you are on, although you feel confined here and long to be somewhere else but the ocean which is death is in your way and wont let you have your freedom. Quite clever in my opinion.
Honestly though I really canno't pick a favorite part of this, although I did adore the second and third stanza more then the first, I'm not really sure why I just felt as though they held so much beauty.
"Human art is to transform
into the corpse.
Godlike art is to transform
into the emotion. "
I adored the lines above aswell. That really captured my attention. The meaning behind it was absolutely beautiful and I felt as though it grasped onto my heart aswell as my mind.
Overall Nix, this was an excellent piece of poetry. I loved it. Again, congrats on the win.