Comments : Cascading Darkness

  • 11 years ago

    by Beauty In The Breaking

    *hugs you* I'm sorry that things seem to be going so rough for you Sam :( Hope it gets better soon for you :) You did a great job writing this and I really like the flow and emotions 5/5 as always

  • 11 years ago

    by Ingrid de Klerck

    Sammy,

    Although this was written beautifully it is a very sad piece....

    The word choice is awesome, I loved expressions like "cascading darkness"and "sunshine void of warmth".

    I don't like to think of you being in a dark place:/

    *hugs*

    5/5 Ingrid

  • 11 years ago

    by Cindy

    Sam
    What a very sad piece. Brought tears to my eyes.

    Human expressions deformed
    Sun shine void of warmth
    Nothing comforts no more

    I know this will hit the heart of many readers. That have been in this very same place in their minds.

    Empty fields, misery grows
    Open sores, life echoes

    This is so full of dispair :(

    Cascading darkness
    Tormenting emotions
    Suffocating agony

    Sometimes the sorrow and lonliness become so great it feels if we can't breathe.

    Tomorrow so far away
    Pipe dreams fray
    Nothing left to caress

    When we have so much heartache...the days seem to strech on foreevr. Especially without our love.
    Excellent Job!
    Love Cindy

  • 11 years ago

    by Courageous Dreamer

    Title: Very unique, it lured me in instantly.. not to mention that this poem was nominated, so I'm anxious to see how great it came out. :]

    "Human expressions deformed
    Sun shine void of warmth
    Nothing comforts no more"
    `A powerful beginning.. human expressions deformed is not something ive heard before.. so hearing it worded that way was great, interesting way of using deformed to described expressions. Secondly, the second line was great.. you didnt make it dull, you made it your own.. the usage of the word void was perfect here. Last line, however.. no more is not correct.. I think you meant to say anymore instead?

    "Empty fields, misery grows
    Open sores, life echoes"
    `Awesome job on the rhyming, and how it isnt forced.. and not using normal words that rhyme well together.. it shows that you put more effort into it than most people do when it comes to rhyming. What a somber mood youve portrayed though, really nicely done making the reader feel the emotion that seeps through your words.

    "Cascading darkness
    Tormenting emotions
    Suffocating agony"
    `Powerful word choice. I loved how the title was incorporated here.

    "Tomorrow so far away
    Pipe dreams fray
    Nothing left to caress"
    `Hmm, really unique.. and original. Pipe dream fray.. I liked the word fray here.

    Strong poem nonetheless, I thought you did a nice job.

    5/5.
    Temps [beyond a poets mind]

  • 11 years ago

    by Armada the Gestalt

    A very respectable poem.

    It's actually very good, except:

    'Cascading darkness
    Tormenting emotions
    Suffocating agony'

    Please, just no.

  • 11 years ago

    by End Of Eternity

    Great write my friend, after a very long time, its nice to have one coming form you.
    Sad and so simply written but it has that deep impact. Great choice of words.

    all the best and take care

  • 10 years ago

    by Lady Nik

    I really liked this poem. I thought is was simple and easy to comprehend. I love the style :) Great work. Nik

  • 2 months ago

    by Stephanie Lemos-Vidarte

    Really like this. Thanks so much for sharing it. Resonated A LOT with me.