Comments : My Mirror

  • 15 years ago

    by Poet on the Piano

    Excellent write! The rhyming and flow was flawless and you captured my attention. I loved the wording you used, it really drew me into this piece and what you were saying. 5/5 from me, good luck with your assignment!

  • 15 years ago

    by Ingrid

    A really well written poem about an awful subject. Indeed girls ( and boys) who suffer from this mental condition see a fat person staring back in the mirror..even when they have become so thin the bones are showing..
    Good luck on your assignment!

    Take care,

    5/5 Ingrid

  • 15 years ago

    by Courageous Dreamer

    "The me in my mirror is so big."
    `I didnt like this, the way it was worded just threw me off.. maybe something like image would be better for saying "The me" or reflection?

    "The large image in the mirror,
    makes me glance then look away"

    I dont know, just a suggestion for your first few lines.. it needs more strength, more support.. a unique way to word it.

    "From the face and the body that haunt me
    Each hour of every day."
    `Good job with haunt, a powerful word.

    "The people around me are worried.
    They fear I am getting "too thin,"
    But they do not see in my mirror
    The battle of weight I can't win."
    `Simple rhyme.. but this flowed decently. We can infer here that this poem is about Anorexia... so maybe you could remove your note at the bottom of your poem.

    "The me in my mirror is crying,
    Or maybe those tears are my own."
    `I didnt like this.. if you are the image in the mirror, those tears have to be yours.. this was awkwardly worded for me, but maybe thats just me..

    "No one understands how I'm feeling.
    I wish they would leave me alone."
    `This is really good, it shows how this person feels.

    "I no longer have any hunger,
    Food tastes like cardboard to me."
    `Hunger is not proper, something like appetite would be a stronger word to use.
    I loved the simile however.. that just emphasizes the not having an appetite line because food just doesnt taste good to you.. great comparison with using cardboard to describe how food tastes.

    "I'm doubtful my mirror will ever
    Hold the image that I'd like to see."
    `This was a good ending, I liked how image was used here, I was trying to get you use in the beginning of the poem..

    Well done.
    A pretty good poem on Anorexia.. you captured the idea well.

    5/5.
    Temps [beyond a poets mind]