Temps,

The way you wrote this made me see it all in front of me.

Growling thunder obstructs silence,
wind violently blows leaves about,
skipping across forest green grass.
Aimless spurts of yellow brighten
obscure skies of early summer.

I loved the way you used all of those adjectives to paint such a vivid picture: growling thunder, violent wind, obscure skies..nice!

Cotton clouds filled with rain burst,
heavy drops charge to the ground,
parched flowers open their wings,
as beads softly rest upon leaves,
tasting summer's sweet surprise.

^^^^parched flowers open their wings...excellent!
as beads softly rest upon leaves..beautifully put.

Friendly storm flees quietly,
as wind settles to a soft breeze.
Branches sway gracefully,
inhaling the fresh air;
summertime arrives at last.

^^
One could almost feel the relief coming from these words.

I thought you did extremely well on this. Flawless poetry!

*hugs*

5/5 Ingrid

Oh, I forgot: I loveeed the alliteration in your title!

The flow is somewhat awkard in this one but the message is wonderful. The time after a storm when everything smells and looks fresh is as the title says, a sweet summer surprise.

I see lately you've avidly been trying to incorporate alliteration in your poetry. :]

'Growling thunder obstructs silence"
^I loved "obstructs" but wasn't too happy with "growling"

"skipping across forest green grass."
^I liked how you said "forest green grass" instead of just green grass. I also liked the image you created with the word "skipping"

"Cotton clouds filled with rain burst"
^"Cotton clouds" is so overused although it makes for nice imagery. I think the sentence will flow better if it was worded as "cotton clouds heavy with rain begin to burst" or something like that because the way you have it now doesnt really make sense.

"heavy drops charge to the ground"
^I think it would sound better if you replaced "heavy" with something else but thats only if you take my suggestion about the line before it. I really liked the imagery you created with "charged"

"parched flowers open their wings"
^Cute. :]

"Friendly storm flees quietly"
^"Friendly storm" hmmm I'm not sure about it but it can work.

Wonderful nature poem describing the beginning of summer. With some minor tweaks here and there this piece will be flawless. The flow needs some working with and like Kiko said about...there were lines were adding an "a" or something like that would make it a stronger line. Overall I loved the imagery and the feeling I got from this...it was quite refreshing to read as a whole and I'm glad I did.

Well done!

Bliss. ;]

Temps

Great imagery in this piece.

Friendly storm flees quietly,
as wind settles to a soft breeze.
Branches sway gracefully,
inhaling the fresh air;
summertime arrives at last.

I love the time after a summer storm. The humidity gone for awhile and the smell of the fresh rain. Soft breezes blowing through the windows. You really brought this to life for me.
Great Job!
Take Care
Cindy

"Growling thunder obstructs silence,"

I really like this opening line, I never would have thought of the word "growling" for thunder, but it creates a picture in my mind.

The word "obstructs" is perfectly used here, I don't here that word often, so its nice hearing it here.

"wind violently blows leaves about,
skipping across forest green grass."

This two lines were really well written, the imagery created blew me away. I love the concept of "forest green grass", a very unique line from a very uniqe poetess. Also, "skipping" was the right word to say, it showed me so many beautiful images in my mind that I could see so clearly.

"Aimless spurts of yellow brighten
obscure skies of early summer."

The word choice here is fantastic, bringing colors alive to the reader, and making the reader feel so into this piece.

"Cotton clouds filled with rain burst,
heavy drops charge to the ground,"

As stated above, "cotton clouds" is pretty cliche, but it still portrays nice imagery. I have to agree with Bliss in the above comment about changing that first line. In my opinion it would be better understood and read.

I adore how you say "charge", it makes me think that the rain is attacking the ground or something.

"parched flowers open their wings,"

This is so cute, I had to smile at this line!

"as beads softly rest upon leaves,
tasting summer's sweet surprise."

This gives the reader such a good feeling, it sets the scene for them.

"Friendly storm flees quietly,
as wind settles to a soft breeze.
Branches sway gracefully,
inhaling the fresh air;
summertime arrives at last."

"friendly storm" very different but its neat.

Excellent ending, it left the reader satisfied and thinking of that time of year. Your word choice and adjectives were fantastic, bringing the poem alive to the reader. But I agree with Bliss and Kiko about the flow, not a big deal, just a minor thing that can be fixed.

This was a joy to read, it brought such happiness to my heart, thanks for the read!

Have a great afternoon...

~MaryAnne