Comments : A Staircase To Hell

  • 10 years ago

    by Katie

    Honestly, I can't believe no one has commented on this one yet. It's absolutely beautiful, even though it's sad. It's hard to make poems flow so well when the lines are long (at least for me), but you accomplished this perfectly. I love this poem. Great work. :)

  • 10 years ago

    by Aish

    Nice-very dark and emotive, also very sad.
    a few of the lines didnt seem to fit-syllable count might be one or two off-but that also may be just how im reading it.

    defintely another 5/5 though-
    aish
    xx

  • 10 years ago

    by Black fox

    Really well done on this one i loved it the emotion is good and the rythem is brilliant it was dark and well written

    well done

  • 10 years ago

    by Cotton Candy Clouds

    Wow you really tugged at the heart strings! in a phenomenal way though i mean the words you used were heart wrenching and effective i hope that you dont really feel this way and that there is someone helping you or letting you vent to them! my favorite part was this:
    "She hides so very well, the hurt she feels within,
    The cuts are so deep inside her heart, instead of on her skin"
    i thought it was original i mean so many poems talk about cutting and you made it seem fresh and revived (weird words for this poem i know lol) but i think you did a great job!

    5/5

  • 10 years ago

    by iFallToPieces

    Woah, this was an amazing poem, it amade me cry, the words were so strong and powerful, you portrayed your emotions very well, i loved the rhyming. very sad poem, but it was a incredible write.
    pm me anytime if you would liek to talk btw.

    5/5

  • 10 years ago

    by My Name Is Mouse

    Aw babe. this is really sad. tears came to my eyes. i know and yes i know how you feel. :( things will get harder before they get better but we can get through this.
    i love you well done gorgeous. xxxx
    love you. kels xx

  • 10 years ago

    by YourThe ReasonIDiedTonight

    Very moving poem and so sad but excellent!!

    it actually made me cry

    keep up the brilliant work

    5/5

  • 10 years ago

    by Kuro

    Stairway to hell... hmm, interesting view.

    it was really sad and heartbreaking. but powerful emotions make the impact greater. well done

    ~Ben

  • 10 years ago

    by Faten

    I like this, but when u say deeper into hell, i kinda think it should be deep into hell.. i hope u dont get upset over my critism. . u kinda asked for it lol.

  • 10 years ago

    by Yours Truly xO

    Wow, is all i can say. not only was this a good write, but its exactly how i feel..beautifully written!

  • 10 years ago

    by Hollymariee

    Forming a staircase deeper into hell.
    - if you take out deeper it would flow better .

    And yet she always must feel, like a piece of dirt.
    - this line really throws off the flow , and I would personally rewrite it . Iwould also end the poem with the last four lined stanza and take out the other two .. But that's your disgretion . Still a 5/5 , very well done .