I focus on the noise
My thoughts devoid
Your demons scream and
Swallow your dreams

*What an intense opening. I love it. It makes me womder what's next. Good*

The silence fills you with dread
Hearing the voices in your head
Like whispering needles into your brain
I can't think with all the strain

*I'd change the second line to "Hearing those voices in your head". Other than hat i love where this is going. Love the analogies too*

Turn up the volume so that you cannot hear
Your mind wonders to a place of fear
Muddied with thought so unclear
Drown the voices with another bottle of beer

*I'm change the seond line to "your mind wonders to a place filled with fear". This is turning into a very intense poem. It's kinda scary too. I like it*

My thoughts lead me to a dark place
So I kill the memories, just in case
Kill the conscious which I seem to lack
When I'm sober, they fight back

*Wow...i like how you talk about killing the memories with alcohol. Very creative*

My brain or liver, what's the point?
Why not my lungs, I'll smoke a joint
Anything to make me forget
Waking up in a cold sweat

*This was so good. I love the imagery and the style is one of my favorites. Keep it up Ben. I'm glad you're back :) Nik*

Wow - intense.
nicly done, i like this 1st and last stanzas the most. your wording is great.

ibe
x

This poem is divine - add a "chorus" and a few extra lines and it can be a rap selling song. Love it :)

Great poem.
I liked how you described everything.

My God.

This is... I just love this.
5/5, NO DOUBT.

These lines:
"Hearing the voices inside my head
Like whispering needles into my brain"
Were my favorite because of the way I could feel what you meant.
You wrote a beautiful poem mate.

Keep writing! I love your style, flow, word choice, emotion, all of it, sincerely.
-me

Dddiiivvvvviiinneeeee & very creative!!!!!!!!!!!

love it dude !!

I just saw that i commented twice on this poem..
i honestly don't remember reading it.. but it looks like it had the same eeffect on me..