Mmm... Alright so... This one's really... Erm... Lemme say this... Your theme is very, very overdone... And I don't like it. I don't like your poem.

I'd pick it apart line by line but there's no point: your theme's boring and overused, it had no emotion, your grammar is bad, you don't capitlise your i's, and half your rhymes are forced.
The YOU is jarring and doesn't fit, it's too forceful and ugly.
But yeah overall it's very much 'oh, alright'. There's nothing about it that makes it yours... It's all cliche. You have no original images, I swear I've read this poem a dozen times in the past, half your lines are stock.

I warned you in my thread that I'd tear sub-par poems apart... And I can't do it line by line because none of the lines are very good.

Sorry, but I just don't see anything good in it, or if I do, I've seen that in many poems before..

Cale I happened to love your poem. I loved the emotion that you expressed and the way you put your words. I commend you on being able to express your thoughts and feelings the way you did. I know a lot of ppl that cannot express themselves by writing, drawing, speech, but you were able to write what you feel and it came out great. Poems and quotes is a place where people can put their feelings and emotions out there. Most aren't here to be compared to the next person but to show whats in their hearts. I think that my 5/5 is well deserved. EVeryone has their own opinions apparently...Schemilix...But you totally deserve better than at he gave you.

-laura

The middle was a little rocky for me on the flow
otherwise biginning and end were really good
i thought it was a bit cliche but I'm a sucker for love poems
nice job

Wow dis poem is bomb. I loved it, its sad of course cz dis girl doesn't wanna b wit u bt I'm sure sooner or l8r she'll realize wat she's missing n if nt I'm sure ull find sum1 ;-)
Remember always keep ur head up high...m3nD!gA

This is a really good poem. it is easy to see how you feel about this girl, and the pain behind your words as well. A very good job. 5/5

The flow of your poem is simply amazing.

"One night you take my hand.
The next you take my heart.
Then you change your mind.
And your tearing me apart."

That to me is the strongest verse and so many people relate directly to it.

In it, you posed questions. I think maybe a continuation of this would make it work better as it esatbishes a pattern.

Otherwise you poem is really well written with all the rhyming lines/

Wow Cale.
This was really amazing.
I don't think this girl knows what
she's missing out on.

You're great.
:)
Ily.

Brava! Yet again. Another touching piece. It was very endearing. It grabbed a hold of my heart. You really love this person that is mentioned. It's delicate and intensely emotional. You long for her to notice you in the way you notice her. Very nice wording and it held a future hope. You enlightened her that you would wait forever to be her man. To
inform her that pain will not happen with you. That you would not subject her to the heartache. This was ardent and beautiful. You professed your love. And spoke of warmth and protection. Very brilliant piece.
*applauds*
5/5

-Lilium

This is a really emotionally honest and heart warmng poem =] I found it a really beautifull piece overall - The person above me was right this girl cant see that the best person for her has always been right infront of her ^^