Comments : All Because of You

  • 14 years ago

    by Steady Stereotype

    A short poem. Straight to the point, with superb flow and ryhthym. This was wonderfully written, sad and because of it's length and the way you divided each line it seemed that I could even see the anger. 5/5

  • 14 years ago

    by Lady Nik

    Sleepless nights
    Useless fights
    All because of you
    What you did
    Oh god forbid
    That it can be true

    *I can relate to this feeling. You get so upset that you can't function. Nice*

    You cheated and lied
    For that we cried
    What else could we do
    This family you see
    Can no longer be
    All because of you

    *I like how you changed from anger to sadness. Very nice. I love the flw and the short stanza, Keep it up. Nik*

  • 14 years ago

    by BlueEyedMystery

    Wow. I loved it. Short but to the point. Rhymes were good. The flow was excellent. The words just rolled right off my tongue. It was sad.. and relatable. The kind of poem people tend to always like. Good job. :]

    Keep writing!
    Cayce

  • 14 years ago

    by claire

    This was really good.. the only suggestion i could make would be to have a third verse, ending and starting with the same ones but with one in the middle- maybe clear up a question or two, like was it your father who cheated on your mother, or some other important detail like that. if you keep it the way it is though, its very universal in its ideas, and wonderfully written!
    ~Claire

  • 14 years ago

    by Stephanie Michelle

    Short poems are good though IMO they should still contain rhythm.. Try to have a structured flow when you write. Other than that, All I have to say is great job