Comments : Bound and Chained

  • 11 years ago

    by Dark Savior

    Gritty earth sinks inside
    my body's skinned up, broken
    wrists dripping with sweat
    too many words left unspoken

    The line unspoken and broken ones are really really good. I really think that this is one poem that I enjoyed reading(i don't think that makes me synical) either way, this is a really good poem, I enjoyed it.

    You seemed to end it as it was getting good though. It was one of my few complaints about this.

    I think it's wonderful

    5/5

  • 11 years ago

    by Poet on the Piano

    "You broke and tore me down
    inflicted wounds left to bleed
    casting me into the depths
    left inches away, the keys...."

    A entrancing opening, great flow and rhyme, the wording though drew me in because of its depth and descriptions.

    "flailing in all directions"

    Such a unique line, that word "flailing" is one I don't here often.

    "jerking from side to side
    tripping over heavy chains
    grief stricken, left to die"

    Excellent descriptions here, making the reader connect and understand. I love how you said "tripping over heavy chains" that puts a real image in my mind and helps me get the picture. Nice work so far!

    "Gritty earth sinks inside
    my body's skinned up, broken
    wrists dripping with sweat
    too many words left unspoken"

    The first line was very creative and orginal, and the rest was filled with so many emotions and descriptions.

    "Screaming out for someone
    whispering for you to save me
    tears stream down my face
    wishing he'd just set me free..... "

    Great ending, truly you did a wonderful job on this piece. You really made the reader feel your pain and understand what was happening. The rhyming and flow were flawless in my mind, and this was a pleasure to read. Just a quick question, why was this in misc. category? Sorry if I am nosy, just wondering.

    5/5 from me, you have real talent and I enjoyed this piece~Take care and God Bless!

    ~MaryAnne