I really like this poem its really good but the flow was messed up a little in the line "emotions of broken girl" try putting "emotions of a broken girl" not a big change but it helps the flow but like i said great poem 5/5 from me

I like this poem and the style. grate writing keep it up.

Why can't you see
The hurt in my eyes
When tears are falling
There is no disguise

[wooohhh...... cool... i like this line... i always asking myself sometimes like that..]

Emotions of a broken girl
Losing at this game
[i am somehow feeling emo... ]

Away from all this madness
[yeah i feel that way too]

Beneath the fake smile
[i always show the world my smile even though i am not really happy so that no one knows im lonely.. thats why i post a topic in the discussion room tittle behind the smile part 3]

very sad but the emotion is very real for me.. i love your work so much...

keep it up... 5/5

I can't find any comfort
[i can be your friend even from a far]

I'm crying out now
From so far away
Wishing someone was here
To help me want to stay
[if you were just near i wont let you feel so sad...]

You can feel the emotion in every word. i really enjoyed reading your poem.

5/5

You can feel the emotion in every word. i really enjoyed reading your poem.

5/5

This is a really good poem! I can relate to this on so many levels. It's full of so much emotion and power. I think its very good!!

Why can't you see
The hurt in my eyes
When tears are falling
There is no disguise
*A smile is a wonderful disguise and even though you are hurting people can't seem to notice. Even if you do cry a little people don't realise the hurt that these tears are actually revealing, wonderful portrayal of this. Powerful opeing stanza.*
It builds and builds inside me
Tied into ribbons of pain
Emotions of a broken girl
Losing at this game
'Losing at this game,' I like this line because I know the game your talking about is actually life and that's all life is; one big game. Such an emotional stanza with alot of thought behind it.*
Buried in the ground
Is where I want to be
Away from all this madness
Even away from me
*I really like the portrayl of this stanza that you are buried in the ground and that your soul is looking at you from beyond the grave, such a deep/dark image. Not one that should happen very soon though.*
Seems I can't hide it
Beneath the fake smile
Nothing is ever good
Not even for a while
*Depression makes us feel worse when we hide behind smiles. No matter how reality hurts, it's always better to show true emotions because it will help us deal with the hurt we have been dealt. Heartfelt, flawless stanza.
I can't find any comfort
All my hope is gone
Forever thrown away
Where was it all along?
*There is never any comfort in depression and we always think hope has gone but there is always something that will help us through, it might be a long time but it will be here eventually. Another flawless stanza.*
I'm crying out now
From so far away
Wishing someone was here
To help me want to stay
*Crying near or far will never help because the people that notice you crying will never understand how hurt we are. And if people tell us to stay because of so many things they will never seem good enough. Wonderfully written.*
I'm tired of all the running
Fighting to stay alive
I'm taking my last breath
So I guess this is goodbye
*Flawless stanza. On the whole an emotional yet flawless poem. Well written, 5/5. Em*

Great Work, A lot of emotions that I'm going through. I really enjoyed it.