Comments : I Wish

  • 14 years ago

    by Hallo A Lilium

    This was very sincere and full of questions. No one but god can answer you. It's not about being like other's. It's about finding yourself in a world of havoc and chaos. We get misguided and fall down into holes. Sometimes we never are able to get out. But with faith and acknowledgment we can climb back up in the light. The hole represent's the darkness that is inside us. The darkness can engulf our entire being. But there are always
    ways to find ourself consumed in the light. Never think you are alone. For people just like (such as myself) find redemption in God's eyes. Love can come in many form's. I've got the gift of having Christs love and a wonderful guys love. I waited for years to get out of my depression. It's never an easy path. It's full of bulging rocks and giant mountains that you have to climb over. Believe in yourself. If you want to be found. Stand in the light. If you want an earthy love first discover who you are. Never go in hoping to be like other's. You alone are beautiful and special. Change in ways that make you more happy. But never aspire to be someone else. I used to say I want to be normal. But normality is too common. God and our love's treasure our uniqueness. When you seek answer's find answer's for them in other unique like minded people. Don't feel like you are all by yourself. For you are always welcome into the house of god. No matter what sin's you have sinned. Find god and you will find your love. Excellent piece.
    Very nice rhythm and flow.

    5/5

    -Lilium

  • 14 years ago

    by kelleyana

    Oh my goodness, my dear poet, your words touches my senses and i can tell you that, you're special and don't change a thing, but look at tomorrow with a positive thinking.
    "What must I do for me
    to have that love
    and destroy the darkness
    of my despair?
    Well to have that love is to first believe in yourself. Don't spend time to think of what others have that you don't, because if you take a hard look at yourself and others, you'll see that you are definately fulfilled. You are a great poet and i admire how you placed your words. Very well done, 5/5, kel.

  • 14 years ago

    by David Marshall

    On the second stanza you should add the word get or have after ever.
    I thought this poem was very simple and to the point, and it shows the deep questions you really want answered. it shows your not sure what lies ahead but that you hope a sign of love comes your way eventually.
    Many can relate to this and look at these questions and ask it about themselves as well.
    Simple, but good I liked it.

  • 14 years ago

    by KJ

    Greattttttttttt write :)
    The format was something that really got my attention. The fact that you didnt have to use rhyme in order to get your point across was brilliant. Also, the voice was heard throughout.
    Overall, amazing write. 5/5

  • 14 years ago

    by Malboros pipe

    Maybe its just my sense but i felft this poem was a bit simple, not as easy to write but the way you phrased everything, u didnt force unnecessary big words to fill the sentences. Liked it