I used to wonder what it was
an intense desire to let somebody live
the way my mother and father prayed
to the good Lord, oh they prayed for him to give
a second chance to me, an unborn baby.
So here I was, a child of intense jealousy
as my mother suckled me and my brother
tore through and created a feeling of intensely
strong hatred I couldn't quench.
He had taken the attention away from me.
I was just a child, and inch by inch
I grew in school and was by far intelligent
Played on the jungle gym and watched on a bench
As my best friend cried and I was laughing
Too insensitive to understand the cinch
Became a teenager, my wrists were itching
Wondering how long until I could relax and die
I had the intense desire for dying
The black and red poster board way.
I woke up and fell asleep every night, crying.
One day, one day... I heard someone say
I was too pale, and I turned to look and behold
The voice did not go away.
There was somebody who had noticed me
And I grew attached to this day.
I eventually came to see
I would cry and wonder why I never
Said a word, and just even maybe
Because we were only kids I let
The voice say goodbye, and it left me.
That voice I will never forget.
I held a child in my arms,
Who came and looked at me, and let
Her smile as I wished her a long life
And discovered in that single moment
