or sign in with e-mail
Don't have an account? Register Here!
by Poet on the Piano
"Distractions constantly find their way to me
As my head becomes overly messy with confusion
Anonymous forces lure me close to you
Startled by my sudden peace of mind"
I love this opening, great wording that pulls the reader into your thoughts. My only suggestion would be to change "overly messy" to "overly crowded", to me it would sound a lot better."I believe your presence is my cure
Clearing out my many interruptions
Breaking down each little disturbance
Until I collapse into serenity"
Well-expressed, this was just beautiful."My heart has fully latched on
To your significantly appealing charm
Concerns evaporate into thin air
As soon as your arms weave around me"
Your wording here is fantastic, I love "latched", "evaporate", and "weave". Brilliant job so far."The cloudiness of my overflowing thoughts
Has started to fade in a leisurely manner
Just a single peek is all it can take
To speed up that process instantly"
This is a very interesting write that clearly expresses your thoughts and feelings."Days have now been without haziness
I am able to aim my attention fully at you
My mind has been unloaded of uncertainty
Struggles remain to be barren all over"
Great flow here and I love "unloaded of uncertainty". This is very different of a write compared to others of you, I love how you experimented and you just went beyond what was to be expected."You brought me back into perfect clarity
Packing up my doubts and driving them away
Reclaiming my sanity from where it had been
Showing me I was the dilemma all along"
I loved the last line, that really struck the reader.
Excellent work, this was a joy to read.