Mistakes

1st stanza
L1
A time later I start to think,
perhaps
----------------started-------

L3
And I remember what you said,
perhaps?
--------remembered--------------

2nd Stanza
Great meter and feeling an excellent piece

3rd Stanza
L1
It's after you're gone that I see,
Perhaps?
It was after you had gone that I felt,
L2
My heart hurts and my mind aches,
Perhaps?
That my heart hurt and my mind aches,

L4
You're just another one of my mistakes.
Perhaps?
You were just another of my life's mistakes.

Suggested after corrections added finished poem

A time later I started to think,
Was it all even worth it in the end?
And I remembered what you said,
How it was all just pretend.

You lied when you said you were true,
And again when you said you cared,
It never seemed to matter to you,
That I was so very unprepared.

It's was after you had left,
That my heart hurt and my mind aches,
It's now I finally am able to realize,
That you are another of my life's mistakes.

I still like the finished article that is your poem but I think its still needs you to edit it so the grammar correction make it above the 5/5 I think it deserves Ray S

I love the 2nd and 3rd stanza but the first one seemed a bit awkward. it didn't flow comleptly. but still it was a great poem and i know how you feel.

A time later I start to think,
Was it all even worth it in the end?
And I remember what you said,
How it was all just pretend.

*a great beginning, the flow ran togother well, i wouldnt change a thing here!.*

You lied when you said you were true,
And again when you said you cared,
It never seemed to matter to you,
That I was so very unprepared.

*again, very well written!*

It's after you're gone that I see,
My heart hurts and my mind aches,
It's now I finally am able to realize,
You're just another one of my mistakes.

*ouch, calling someone a mistake, i know what you mean... lol...*

**I really like this one as well as all the others that i read. There is a lot of emotion in here, buts thats awesome that you write what you feel. Great job!**

A time later I start to think,

*I'm not so sure about how you started this. It just sounds weird to me. Maybe something like " At later times I start to think" that seems to flow better to me.*

Was it all even worth it in the end?
And I remember what you said,
How it was all just pretend.

*This part was sad. I when you give your all to someone and have them take you for granted.*

You lied when you said you were true,
And again when you said you cared,
It never seemed to matter to you,
That I was so very unprepared.

*I don't think you need " so very" it makes the sentence sound wordy. Maybe "completely" or another word could work in place of those two*

It's after you're gone that I see,
My heart hurts and my mind aches,
It's now I finally am able to realize,
You're just another one of my mistakes.

*This part made me sad. I feel like this alot. i think you did a good job with expressing your pain and the way this peson made you feel. Nice work. Nik*

I thought it very deep and full of pain and love, emotion was expressed nicely, not too heavy and didn't make the poem sag. I liked the pace of the poem, to me it was slow and gentle, like you were trying to hold yourself together while saying it. :)