Comments : There's More To This Life I Will Know

  • 14 years ago

    by Marcus blake

    I love it

    "There's got to be more than the vain
    or the sadness, the problems, and pain
    There's more to this life than just vain"

    like this repeation is a definite trademark...

  • 14 years ago

    by Love Panda

    There's more to this life I will know
    I'll scream and I'll cry and I'll fight for my life
    But theres more to this life I must know

    There's got to be more to show
    After living our lives we just go?
    Theres more to this life I will show

    There's got to be more than the vain
    or the sadness, the problems, and pain
    There's more to this life than just vain

    There's more to this life I will know
    I'll scream and I'll cry and I'll fight for my life
    But theres more to this life I must know

    ~im not that excited over this poem. 1st and last stanza i think are great, 2nd stanza is ok and the third i dislike, feels like it doesnt fit in to the poem. im not too happy on the rhyme scheme but the structure makes up for that as its strong. your wording is spot on.

    i would probably hope that you add a few more lines to each of the stanzas. make it feel like theres more to it.

    ibe
    x

  • 14 years ago

    by Ken

    I mostly wanted to read your poems caise of your name it made me laught but ur poem is good keep it up

  • 14 years ago

    by KomBAT Kitten

    Awe, aren't you sweet niblets.