Helpless

by Pengu36   Sep 28, 2009


Watching the sunset in your lovely eyes,
The most beautiful colors in the skies.
As the sun hides, the moon begins to rise.

We feel the cool breeze cutting the nights air.
My arms wrap around you with so much care.
You smile at me but you're so unaware...

When you were alone and cried out your heart,
My heart refused to let us be apart.
Prayers my soul made from the very start.

Everyday of your life you live with pain,
But my ears have never heard you complain.
You continue on even through the rain.

Everytime you were sick and stayed in bed,
The words in my heart could never be said.
Would my deepest words help you look ahead?

Forgive me for listening to my mind,
All these years.. How could I have been so blind?
My heart forced to be weaker and confined.

Tears are falling from my face... forgive me...
This time... my heart will help you be set free ...

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Latest Comments

  • 14 years ago

    by Max Krakers

    Overall i think its quite a good poem,
    the way you use to tell him/her what happend is gentle yet pressing.

    I like the way you made everything rhyme, but sometimes it made the poem flow unnaturally.
    also if you change "my heart will help you be set free" to "my heart will help set you free" it would sound a lot better. but it's your poem so please feel free to ignore my suggestion.

    nonetheless it's a good poem and since I can't give you a 4.5 I'll give you a 5.
    keep writing.

    kind regards max