Comments : One last chance

  • 14 years ago

    by Lori

    I was very impressed how you managed to make everything ryhme in this poem. It's very unique and it has a smart rhyme to it. The stanzas were nice and neat. However, I think that in a poem, you should say "because" instead of "cos." It just is more formal and it sounds better :)

    The danger in my agenda
    Is to be your defender
    But the changer in my calender
    Was not protecting you in december
    Cos i was force to remember
    I slumber in november.

    Whooooa. That's really cool how you made eery thing rhyme...again. lol I really like that part.

    Well, overall, I really enjoyed this piece. It was very unique and it showed off your shining talent! Very nice work. 5/5

    P.s....sorry it took so long for me to get back to you.