Comments : Searching, searching

  • 14 years ago

    by Kurt

    Powerful. The flow and rhythm was impeccable and provided a proper pace for the reader. The repetition of "Searching, searching" I thought was going to detract from the poem but it actually provided an extra sense of emotion. Often times I found myself searching for even a hint that the person I loved was feeling the same.

    "I used the key you gave me to your heart
    It did not open; the lock must've changed
    I asked you to help me in
    But when I entered your heart was empty"

    This stanza, in my opinion, is the strongest of the whole poem. Not because of the structure but merely because of the message it carries and utter truthfulness of it.

    Well written poem. This blew me away. The fact that it is so relatable is why I connected so perfectly. 5/5.

  • 14 years ago

    by Erickson

    Excellent!

  • 14 years ago

    by Courageous Dreamer

    'The kind you ca only find in romance novels.'
    ^I think you meant to say can..

    The only thing I didnt like was how so me lines were a lot longer than others, but other than that I though the repetition of 'searching searching' really backed that up & helped with the flow. It also reemphasized what youre doing & hope to find something is still there. Looks like youre searching for some answers, nicely done.