Comments : You can see

  • 14 years ago

    by Em

    It's amazing how many people can see that we aren't oursleves but never ask what's wrong. Maybe it's because they are scared or maybe just plain ignorant. 5/5, Em

  • 14 years ago

    by Jay Perry Jr

    Its a shame when someone can help but dont. you write good poems keep up the good work :)

  • 14 years ago

    by Poet on the Piano

    "You can see from her smile shes not okay,
    Youre the one who knows shes sad yet youve got nothing to say,
    You can see from her eyes shes not going to make it,
    And yet you take her trust, you take it, you break it,"

    "shes" should be "she's".
    "youve" should be "you've".

    This stanza told so much of what people do now a days, seeing someone is in pain, yet not having the courage and strength to confront them and comfort them. We all do this, dismiss those thoughts of helping people or going that extra mile for someone.

    "You can see from her laughter shes going to cry,
    You know you can help but you dont even try,
    You can see from her words shes starting to fall,
    You want to ask her whats wrong but you ignore it all,"

    A well-written display of this feeling, like you want to help them, but maybe you just don't know how, or don't have the courage.

    "You can see from her hair that shes in a bad way,
    You have never before seen her in such a sad state,
    You can see from her blankness that she just doesnt care,
    You know that all this is cause you were never really there."

    This is heartbreaking and you have portrayed that very well. I think this can be a message for all of us.

    Good job and keep writing, my friend.

    God bless you and Merry Christmas!

    ~MaryAnne