This was good, it just bothered me a little that you kept repeating yourself at the beginning. I think a lot of people can relate to this. Nice work dear. Nik

Such a sad write KayJay. Loneliness and depression sure do walk hand in hand and cause us to feel as though we are drowning. Just a struggling to even try to hold our heads above the water.

I see you have stated that you are not quite finished with this so I'll be back to have another read after completion.

that in you I truley believed...
^^
little typo in the above line hun (truly)

Looking forward to reading again

Luanne

The poem is Amazing, it flows really well. Once agian... after reading only the first four lines, I took a deep breath and reveled in your talent. You are a great poet. It's weird tho.... knowing that you just wrote it last night makes me want reach out to your unhappyness and try to make you feel better. Seems like you knowing that this poem is AMAZING (Cuz It is) is not going to pull you out of this rough patch in your life. How bought we challenge each other to write a new poem. A poem that describes a version of us at the end of 2010. A version of ourselves that we can aspire to. as far as where we want to be. How we want to feel. What we dream to be.

What do you think?

I thought that this was good. i honestly liked reading this. it sounds so sad and upsetting. painful almost. i can understand that. great job and keep it up! :)

This poem is a beautiful, sad write, however, it does still look like a draft. It's not finished, so it doesn't seem wrapped up - it's missing a finale.

Great job! I can't wait until you finish this. :)

Ok the title is just awesome..I've never seen a poem with a time as the title..I like it, kind of inspired a write out of me...

This was a really good write! You described your feelings very well. Everyone goes through this in life at some point or another and it really sucks I know!
Keep writing, your express your feelings really good.

Oh, I really like this. The flow was nice, although I think it could a little better word choice. you know something to spice up the wording a little. Still not bad, but this is a piece most everyone can relate to.. If your dealing with this, I hope things get better

A so very depressing poem and in life unfortunately we have downs with our ups but usually it becomes a balance and hopefully you with have an up soon. Nicely written poem but there are a few on this site that are excellent because they are stronger on this subject. Good 4/5 Ray S

Not only can I relate to this poem I love the way it is put together. It reflects your skill as a poet plus deep emotion

I think everyone feels depressed and lonely from time to time, that feeling you have when the world seems out of reach. All it takes is a little hope and soon somebody comes along and makes you feel like your on top of the world. Excellent job I really enjoy the way you express your feelings in love.... lets the reader into your heart 5/5

Very emotional poem, great job. The only line that knocked me out of rhythm "Bring darkness over my sunshine." Perhaps you can word that differently.