The idea that you had wasn't necessarily 'very dark' but I love the way you portrayed this whole idea. The words you selected, the brackets were a good way of showing her thinking. A useful physical image, I liked it (:

The flow was a little off which sometimes drew my attention to those little shakiness and away from the poem a bit.

Well written overall, I liked the idea of it, a different kind of way to show suicide. Originality is taking something, and adding a twist, and that is exactly what you've done :3

Hope to read more in the future~ ;)

Wow, that was really good(: i like how you turned the topic into something so darkk. the imaging was amazingg. i felt like i was there. the flow might need a tiny bit a of work, buts thats probably only a matter of changging a few words to make it easier to read. but all in all it was a really great write.

Nice! I love the way you use rhyme--it fits well but doesn't sound silly. My favorite was the 3rd stanza; I liked how you switched briefly into the first person. It really made the poem 'pop.'

I love it! I could SEE it... Your description was so emotionally vivid, reading a poem became watching your movie. The way you seemed to pull yourself out of it, like you were briefly outside the situation you normally see, was so symbolic of what we typically do when surrounded by chaos. We have to, to make sure that what's happening is REAL. I didn't really see this as dark, this is just the harsh reality of certain peoples' (obviously yours, but many people have to go through these things from time to time). But I really just adored this, amazing job! 5/5!

Uuh, sorry... certain people's "lives" lol

Ok my favorite line was
"what are friends? something equally fake?"
it was really sad but really good as well you portrayed the feelings really well you did great!

Wonderful and chilling, like the parts in parentheses are like a voice from inside. Loved it!!

Don't know how the poem was before, but this is certainly a very good one.
The rhyming scheme was a classic abab, which always fits. The imagery words you used made the atmosphere gloomy, and the way some sentences aligned made it feel like her life is on a thin line, and that she's about to fall apart.

You made it a very well poem all the way through, keep it up 5/5