All i think, is you.

by Maria   Jun 29, 2010


Im falling down a deep hole,
and i can feel the breath in me being knocked out.
i dont know whether to scream in terror,
or cry for all the lost words he will never hear.

my body aches,
though it is weightless on the planet.
my mind is in an unknown state,
yet the only image i see, is of him.
the world around is nothing,
but a mere blur of passing darkness.
so i close my eyes;
brown hair, brown eyes.
lips that could make a saint cringe,
for a moment to admit sin.

the fall becomes greater,
and im more short of breath.
im losing the strength to feel anymore,
so i let everything go.

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Latest Comments

  • 13 years ago

    by Ares

    This poem is pretty good if you ask me. There's some really nice lines in here.

    "lips that could make a saint cringe,
    for a moment to admit sin."

    This is pure brilliance, honestly. The ending however I was not a big fan of, although it fitted nicely with the rest of the poem it sort of fell flat when I re-read it. The second stanza is so packed with wonderful imagery and I can almost feel the emotion you project on my skin.

    The ending is good, but it could be better with some adjustment. Keep in mind that this is soley my opinion and pay no heed to it if it doesn't fit in with your vision for this poem.

    --ares

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