Comments : Grave

  • 13 years ago

    by Jim McMillen the man within

    Ok , I am going to do something here I don't normally do & that is be critical, But only because you asked .....I assume you are only starting out because you only have 2 poems posted . The first verse shows promise because it is short & straight to the point & it rhymes, ...Of which I might add none of these are necessary for good poetry in my opinion . After the first verse you seem to have lost the rhyme but remain in touch with your feelings & expressing your feelings is what is the most important part of poetry ( again my opinion ) We all have to start somewhere & I think you are off to a good start . Maybe you can read more poetry & become more familiar with how others maintain their flow & then find your own pace & feel for a more eloquent expression . I hope you dont see my comment as negetive because I don't mean it to be at all I am only trying to be instructional .... I hope you continue to write & share it with us, Like I said, your off to a good start so here's a 5/5 for effort of expression .....Jim