Comments : A Final Dance

  • 13 years ago

    by Sunshine

    :).......................
    you have left me out of words..
    this poem is sweetness it self..TENDER..passionate..descriptive and really coherent .
    VERY strong wording and perfect word choice.

    I love the feelings that i was able to relate to..and the ending was heartfelt.

    Keep writing!

    5/5

  • 13 years ago

    by Lu

    This write is beautifully sad Jenn.
    It holds so much beauty for the things that can be done ... but the things that were.

    Whirling through chaos together
    Passion choreographing our eternity
    We did not need sun to shine
    Just this

    Gentle touches
    True intentions
    Synchronized souls
    Loving simply, as they should

    ^^^
    Love the ending !

    Great read Jenn

  • 13 years ago

    by chind

    Beautiful, simply beautiful write! I Love the idea of this poem, it has a strong impact on the reader at first read. Knowing its the last day of life really changes a few things. Your last stanza was great, my favourite for it just tied the entire piece together, a perfect ending in my opinion!

    "Whirling through chaos together
    Passion choreographing our eternity"
    - these two lines are very well crafted with lovely word choice, i like these two lines a great deal.

    Overall, GREAT WORK! kudos!

  • 13 years ago

    by TowerDreamer

    This is a truly beautiful piece. The flow is effortless and the language used is magical. My favourite line was "Passion choreographing our eternity" – really enjoyed this one.
    I've been meaning to comment on one of your poems for a while - and glad I finally found the time :)