Comments : Impact

  • 13 years ago

    by sibyllene

    This poem was very unsettling, to me. Even though everything ended fine (I think?) it's that very ambiguity that I'm finding distressing, and also effective. You're a master at choosing details, and arranging them in such a way that they evoke the emotional reality of the scene. You don't do this by adding superfluous commentary, or reading into things to much. You let the details stand on their own, but oh! It's your arrangement of them that makes them feel utterly real.

  • 13 years ago

    by Jad

    What a interesting read. As Sib said you put detail into things where they need to be and also get the emotion you want us(the readers) to feel across. The simplicity of this was very nice as you take something that is easily seen and make it unique and creative in a sort of way. Great job and keep writing.

  • 13 years ago

    by Courageous Dreamer

    Interesting to see you tell a story, I don't believe I've seen you do that before. I loved the title, it was definitely short, simple, & to the point. This accident obviously made an impact on the neighborhood and people around it. The emotions were portrayed nicely & only added to the amount of dismay and curiosity of those who witnessed or saw it. Not your typical poem at all, at least not for me. I liked it - I like something different every once in a while. Something came to mind though, I wonder if the 'fish and chips' at the beginning had any sort of further significance. Makes you wonder if this was a true story, just seems like some odd ball items to me so it made me think! Loved your creativity!

  • 13 years ago

    by Sungrl And Mrs Whatsit

    You are a dancing poet with a butterfly net..
    capturing and releasing
    capturing and releasing
    and always (at least, so far '-)
    the captured moments expand
    into tiny
    kaleidoscopically butterfly-colored
    meaningful movies
    enriching the reader's inner landscape
    just
    as you release them....