I fell in love with this poem and I will be adding it to my favorites.

You chose a simple title yet the content of the poem showed the workings of a mature mind.

"Just another lie you tell yourself
While you slip within a hostile dream,
shock freezes over your aching heart
Defeated by your own delusive scheme"

^ that was in my opinion the best stanza as I related to it. It shows how we all can lie to ourselves when things are bad even if the bad is a result of our own doing

5/5

I absolutely love this poem, like the rest of your work I've read. It has great flow and words that keep haunting your head a long time after reading.

Just one little typo:
at the end if a song
--> at the end of a song

But aside from that there is little (or no) room for improvement.

Up for a nomination definitely :)

However I have some observations to make. First, I was distracted by the random capitalizations. I understand it might by indications that the last line has ended. I think some punctuations would be of great help (full stop). Otherwise if you were avoiding punctuations in your poems might as well just capitalized the beginning lines of each stanzas. Just my opinion though :)

Also, I think you missed out a comma here.

^Impossible to keep track of (ones) one's desires

Other than that, you did a fantastic job. Loved the wonderful presentation of these thought-provoking words.

Good job!

This poem flows nicely and has an unexpected ending. I also like your choice of words and images.