Comments : Starved Love - Journey of the Mind (Sestina)

  • 8 years ago

    by Ingrid de Klerck

    I concur with all Britt said and I find your poem to be more true to the format than the one displayed on Shadow (the tercet)

    You are the bomb, what more can I say:) The true queen of poetry on here!

    A splendid verse, well done

    5/5 Ingrid

  • 8 years ago

    by Yakari Gabriel

    My dearest lu,

    This is very different from your other poems..
    I guess I could never pull of such a difficult form ever gives me the creeps!

    You are one very smart lady!

    This hit me hard »Feeling like a triangle in this circular world -

    So beautiful...the way you it really capture the feeling of 'I don't belong here'...


    Well done (;

  • 8 years ago

    by Blissful

    Lu, I am amazed and blown away. This is going into my favorites because it truly spoke to my heart. This is not an easy form to do but your words shined brightly and came together to create a masterpiece. There was so much truth in everything you wrote that I couldn't help but agree with it all and nod my head thinking, "that's so true!" I don't think I have ever read a poem were it was so close to what I feel as if I was the one whose emotions were being expressed...

    "One day drowning in sin and sorrow,
    the next rejoicing beneath golden sky."
    ^I couldn't agree more but that's life. One day theres the good and then the next there is the bad but its a balance and without one, life is incomplete and in my opinion - boring. Nicely expressed.

    "Have childhood stories tainted our mind
    into wishing upon falling stars that light the sky ? "
    ^Yes! They have! Haha no but really there is nothing wrong with Disney filling our minds if happily ever afters but its up to us to be more realistic in certain situations so we do not fall in realitys dire trap. The only suggestion I have is to eliminate the spaced between you words and question marks.

    "and dreams once again awaken the sorrow.
    Still tomorrow I will again, take on the world."
    ^Loved the subtle rhyme, so sweet!

    "Feeling like a triangle in this circular world"
    ^So simple yet so profound, loved it!

    "Benumbed, I see the sunshine skip upon waves"
    ^Loved the use of "benumbed" I don't think I've ever seen it in a poem before..

    "Or shall I settle for the one who seemingly fits into my world
    yet never strokes the shadows of my soul beneath midnight sky ?"
    ^This is where you hit me the hardest Lu, wow I'm left speechless...sometimes we find ourselves settling upon a love that seems convenient because we are not sure that fiery forever love is out there for us and you expressed that so beautifully here with your use of imagery. I say never settle, your fire is still out there and unless he makes you heart flutter like the wings of a thousand humming birds...don't think twice.

    This was just beautiful Lu and I loved everything about it. It deserves a nomination and a win and I will come back to it once my votes are back next week.

    Five. :)

  • 8 years ago

    by Sungrl And Mrs Whatsit