Comments : Marble Halls

  • 13 years ago

    by Ingrid

    A book of days that is penned with dreams..mmhh, I would like to read that one:)

    Well done, Nana.

    5/5 Ingrid

  • 13 years ago

    by Sunshine

    Lol..we all would :)

  • 13 years ago

    by IBRAHIM DWIDAR

    Well done Rania, i liked both the rhythm and the flow of thoughts.

  • 13 years ago

    by Courageous Dreamer

    I'd stay consistent and put a period after 'aisles.' Also, I'd change the last line of the poem to... 'I rouse on a book of days, penned with dreams.' It flows better that way, at least to me.

    The repetition in stanzas one and four was pretty effective. You did a really nice job keeping your lines the same length so that the poem flowed beautifully.

    I found it kind of lovely how although you may not think of it this way... 'Marble Halls' made me think of how the emotions in this poem were somewhat 'marbled' or mixed in a way. I found some bits of happiness as well as some sad. I found that really interesting although I'm sure you don't see it the way I do. It seems as though at the beginning of the poem you feel so far from your dreams, yet the last stanza really brings it together and you're much closer as you say you are 'near'

    A beautiful piece!