I thought the idea here was simple to grasp, but the individual images were a bit hazy in your wording....if you indicate natural breaks, it would be clearer to read and smoother overall.

The more I read, the more I saw the depth. At times it seemed "too excessive" but maybe that was just to my own eyes. You have some strong frames I haven't even picked up!

Good job and keep writing. God bless!

I feel the consistent rhyme took away from the poem though as I found myself skipping ahead each line to imagine what the rhyme would be.

Having said tha though there is great use of diction and imagery throughout the poem.