Comments : Within Me

  • 13 years ago

    by Courageous Dreamer

    'wanderd' should be 'wandered' I'm guessing?

    This poem has some interesting metaphors, and you really carried them out nicely. I like how some of the imagery isn't so pleasant like moth eaten wings or emptied by worms yet these lines are tied with so much emotion that it works really nicely. I wasn't quite sure of the word 'sat' and how it was used... how about 'grounded' or something like that?

    Definitely an interesting poem in all, really shows your imagination once again.

  • 13 years ago

    by Yakari Gabriel

    Well this is...in one word very different...I'm not sure I really got the poem...the ending I'm guessing its a pregnancy right? And then dead?..'Eaten by worms' right? I mean the body is eaten by worms when we die..its a beautiful piece though..has a kinda tragic tone to it...like always..your metaphors..so unique..so clever..god bless that mind of you...well done!