Comments : Beautiful Dreamer

  • 13 years ago

    by AJ

    I like the format of this poem, it is very unique. It allowed your words to flow much better than using standard line breaks.

    The message behind this is one that I think many people feel, but there is that unfortunate thing called reality that most people would wish didn't exist.

    "Stars shine amidst
    my midnight sky
    making a maze for
    me to dance around."

    ^
    This was easily my favorite part, particularly because I can picture it so easily. What person doesn't want to dance with the stars?

    Very good job with this, I have some more reading to do now.

    +5

  • 13 years ago

    by Soft Parade

    If I could sleep for
    eternity, I would without
    a doubt.
    ^^
    We all read poems and take our own experiences as we envisage what it is all about, here I can let you know that I am an agnostic and this line sums up what I feel when i think about heaven in a way - if I could sleep for ever in heaven I would without doubt, the doubt being my doubts here on earth

    Dreams
    cause my mind
    to work harder than
    ever. Worlds are
    created. Fantasy is
    the only reality.
    ^^
    Continuing on with my original thought, the mind you say is working harder than ever to create worlds which you feel (and me) would be perfect, imagining what God should have produced.

    Stars shine amidst
    my midnight sky
    making a maze for
    me to dance around.
    ^^
    this then brought me back to why I am agnostic, teh universe is so vast and beautiful and already imagined and real.

    Why couldn't the universe
    turn into my dreams?
    ^^
    for me you have nailed the human need to change the world around us to make it a better place.

    Let the creations of
    my mind rule for once.
    ^^
    I feel the frustration here, a tug for power

    There would be
    no such things as war, just
    the sublime idea of peace
    labeled to puzzle
    pieces, for the children
    to play with.
    ^^
    With your power you would create a world in which children would learn only about peace which would encourage and nurture teh world, the dream i share with you.

    I wish...
    ^^
    this sublimly placed to give pause for teh reader to take in what you have painted with your words.

    Dreams are so
    beautiful until you
    realize they never happened.
    ^^
    a bittersweet ending, I have liked a bit more hope in the ending as dreams are our only hope to changing the world but I can also see the power of the truth too.

    Excellent poem.

  • 13 years ago

    by Meena Krish

    Yeah dreams are a means of an escape from this harsh world and it makes us forget the pain etc..how I wish at times relaity becomes a dream...liked the read :)

  • 13 years ago

    by Kuro

    What i got from this is that it feels so good to dream. and the dreams seem so great... but eventually, reality makes you settle for less.

    good write. thanks for sharing :)

    ~Kuro

  • 13 years ago

    by Courageous Dreamer

    Lovely piece.. the ending really held a lot of power for me. Its so sad, yet sometimes we need to dream so that we can feel a little happiness and disregard the fact that they aren't real. It's always so easy to connect with your words, another great poem.