Comments : Broken fist

  • 11 years ago

    by Kate

    Hmm, this is interesting. It is short and definitely right to the point. I like it.

    I also like the rhyme in the first two lines but the other two lines dont so it throws off the flow of the piece.
    Maybe you could think of a different line for the last part then put the "this is life" line at the end?

    Just an idea.