I love it ! so simple and sweet .. sometimes I don't feel the rhyme but it's still amazing .. a law range of vocab but it didn't affect the poem at all .. I love it keep on going

I really liked how you kept about the same amount of syllables in each verse, made reading really fluent. Furthermore i've felt your words which i thought was great. Good work. (:

This had a very catchy and effortless seeming flow. What I like most is the pure, raw emotion here. The simple joys and feelings of love that inside are so complex. You've told little stories that were all wrapped together in beautiful memories and the butterfly moments we love to have and share with others.

I like your rhyme scheme. One or two of the rhymes seemed a tad forced, but I love how the rhyme wasn't consistent. You started about abab, but then it flowed into what felt more natural for (or so it seemed), and went into this incredible flow of end rhymes, internal rhyme etc. The inconsistency is what made the rhyme brilliant for me. It didn't become typical or dull, but different and refreshing. :) Wonderfully done!

I felt like this was a beautifully wrapped present. With each line, you give a sweet reminiscence that won't leave your heart no matter what happens. The events, the imagery, the emotions that show such life here play a big part.

I have to agree with Britt....the rhyming was easy flowing. It didn't have to be strictly schemed. You gave it freedom, and it felt natural and still neatly tied together.

Profound emotion in few words. Something I can cherish in each line, remember.

This one line stood out for me:

"How a man can be an ocean."

- The incredible thought of this....so much to a man, complex at heart, deep in mind. down to earth. overpowering.

A wonderful story of summer love that can bring hope to many others who feel like they've lost that one.

Great writing, please keep it up!
~MaryAnne

Verycool! I like the way it is expressed in broken memory fragments, Great Job!:-)

This Is So Beautiful, It Flows So Swiftly&Nice.
You Have So Much Raw Emotioned Entitled Inside This One Poem. I Really Enjoyed reading it. You Have Some Serious Talent For Writing Poetry, I Read A Couple Of Your Others As Well But This Was Defenitallly My Favorite. :) Good Job, & Dont Stop Writing.
With Love, Jessi.

Stanzas one through four had me hooked and then you changed your rhyming technique. Those first four are so AWESOME!! Wish you would rework it and keep the rhyme going. I enjoyed the write even with the "let-down". It would have been a 6.