I've become a shadow of myself
An empty shell of what I use to be
I've given too much of my heart away
That it will not be guarded
Is an ever looming fear
I wish I knew just what to say
The words run across my lips
But when its time to speak
My mind becomes my enemy
I do not know how to explain
Nor how to make you understand
Though I am happy I am in pain
I live with the fear of being hurt
It looms over me
As a menacing cloud
When I find hope things will change
It snuffs out the light making it dark again
I feel as though I live with a sickness
Spreading further and further
Though I try my hardest to fight
It gains strength as I grow weaker
I wish I could be certain you speak the truth
I wish I never wondered what you are hiding
Every time I think we have won the battle
Something happens reminding me we are at war
Unlike people who fight together
We take opposite sides
Instead of defending me
You protect and defend to her
You remind me I am a casualty and she is the prize
One which is not to be lost
You have shown me, I am expendable
Her a treasure you'll fight for no matter the cost
Throughout these years
I have come to realize
Though I am your girlfriend and she just a friend
I am the one on the losing side
