'So he leaves again..

It's just a new summer
for everyone to wear
some fancy sunrays,
and a regular season
to sleep as if unnoticed.'
^Great opening! Again, it's truly fascinating to see you incorporate nature in a different way than most poets. Love your lines here. He seems to keep leaving and thus it seems like just another 'season' to you, nothing is different.

The usage of the colors was lovely too, I think there's definitely symbolism behind each of them if you dig into your words and read between the lines.

Heartbreaking ending, definitely touched me the most. It seems like this person is gone forever. Maybe he never really truly existed. Awesome as always, I love it.

How did I miss this one ?!
OMG !!

The loneliness picture drawn by this poem was beyond imagination, waiting in that place, its not just you who was waiting; its the whole place, the door, the curtains, the plates .. everything ..

Just gave me this feeling .. of emptiness and sadness ..

Definitely 5/5 and a nomination ..

I believe the true talent of a writer lies in portraying his/her feelings to the reader. So I congratulate you on doing just that!

"Sitting beside a dead telephone
in a room too small to find words
to describe- laying on a brown couch
wondering if it's time to open up
the green curtains-as if happy."

I had to stop and re-read this stanza a few times because I could feel the hopelessness of what you were describing so deeply. I absolutely LOVE your description of the telephone as being 'dead.' It is so dramatic and I seriously doubt that there isn't a single woman in this world that doesnt understand how that feels.

I love the idea that the room is "too small to find words to describe." I believe you're trying to convey that there is too much pain for such a small place. Such a human feeling you describe with that! Well done, it works wonderfully to draw the reader in!

The rest of the poem is just as great, particularly the dramatic and empty-feeling end but the stanza I quoted above was my favourite so I just had comment on it!

Good luck with the contest, you definitely have my vote! 5/5!

I love your opening line of "so he leaves again". Like it's just an ordinary thing, it almost doesn't hurt anymore because it's to be expected.

I love the big about wearing fancy sun rays, the tan, the fake, the unreal version of ourselves, only to reset with sleep and do it all over again.

Dead telephone - I like that idea. No one wants to be around anyone, it's total silence.

"in a room too small to find words"
I love this. The cramped, claustrophobic feeling of being in a room all alone, especially one that makes you feel insignificant.

I feel the use of "brown couch" was a little boring here.. maybe that's the point. Maybe by changing up the couch idea, or a different color. Let me keep reading. :P

OH OKAY. Brown and green, boring when paired the way you've had it, melancholy colors for sunshiney days, and you open them up "as if you're happy". Putting on the mask again. I get it now :)

"wearied wooden table" -- I love the image this gave me. Antique but not quite lovely, battered and loved in a way only someone who knows it's history could.

I would just standing to "stand" still.. unless you need a comma somewhere and I'm missing it :) Maybe this way:

"of the aging furniture standing
still, I've once been placed-"

Add the comma and take out where. It adds a bit to the flow, I keep tripping myself up around there.

Pending on the jokes of summer - I love it. Pushing visitors out, unwelcome. Wanting to be surrounded by people and things to be happy but knowing you can't stand it, and can only keep the mask on for so long.

I love the word "heave", it always gives me a smile. It's such a powerful word.

The pictures we play in our head really get to us more than anything, and when we think we're okay, those mental images pop back up and remind us we're really not, that we still hurt, and add a bit of salt to the wound. I absolutely love this Nana. It's so sad and so descriptive. I feel as if I'm at an art exhibit, and you have a few different paintings, all dreary, but the items you mentioned shiny, as if to bring a sense of false security to the piece. I love love love your work :)

So he leaves again..
^
What a nostalgic opening
It sounds almost..like a sigh....

It's just a new summer
for everyone to wear
some fancy sunrays,
and a regular season
to sleep as if unnoticed.
^
I like the use of sunrays here,
while people usually would use sunglasses or shades..
this stanza has highly creative...

Sitting beside a dead telephone
in a room too small to find words
to describe- laying on a brown couch
wondering if it's time to open up
the green curtains-as if happy.

^
Eh,the 'dead telephone' here was
Clever,I like how you refered to the room as too small,instead of thoughts or emotions...
It makes it interesting..
And the way u used 'green' curtains...
When we know green is the color of hope so it fits right in..with the emotions you are trying to potray..

Two white plates on a wearied
wooden table-ironically waiting
to be filled, when I like the rest
of the aging furniture stand
still where I've once been placed-
pending on the jokes of summer
to push a visitor outside my pink door.
^
Aah! How girly :') why must the door be pink?...
Hahahaha
Again the use of "two plates"
Here was perfect,combined with the word ironically...since in the beginning you explained that he left...

I heave the nearest plate next to me
toward the dusty space as if
disappointed.

^
The 'as if'
Shows that you aren't dissapointed?
Am I right?....
Yet throughout the poem
It seems like you are sad that he left?..
Ay chihuahua..

Lost outside my window, staring
at a busy month, I shed some crazy
tears watching him leaving again...
^
Yes! Highly creative again...
I've never heard of tears being crazy,
And never knew one could stare at a month..

as if he came back in the first place.

^
Jeezus,what an ending rania...
Stop doing this to me...
What you do with words
Is just unbelievable...

Very nice...not too literal, but not too abstract...very relatable.

"as if he came back in the first place."...i like the sadness in your poem..well written...good job.

"as if he came back in the first place."...i like the sadness in your poem..well written...good job.

Awesome. the title caught my attention. an amazing start. and when you talked about room its just create an image in my mind. such a deep feelings in human you have pout here.

the idea was great. and the usage of words is good. a combination is good too. that makes and show me it into a very strong emotions.

your poems are beyond my thinking because of very good English. so i always read your poem two or three times to understand completely. And i cannot leave the page without commenting your poems.

Sitting beside a dead telephone
in a room too small to find words
to describe- laying on a brown couch
wondering if it's time to open up
the green curtains-as if happy.

this is my favorite stanza,. a great and strong metaphor as well i see in it. i like the wording a Dead telephone. this what makes the strong image in my mind and force me to read the rest of poem with a very good manner.

one thing more i noticed every single line has the power. something strong emotions and deep feelings. you put the emotions in a very good form inside any poem. that makes your poem perfect always

fro me 5/5