I Hate Love

Have you ever been in love?
Horrible isn't it?
It makes you so vulnerable.
It opens your chest
and it opens up your heart
and it means that someone
can get inside you and mess you up.
You build up all these defenses,
you build up a whole suit of armor,
so that nothing can hurt you,
then one stupid person,
no different from
any other stupid person,
wanders into your stupid life...
You give them a piece of you.
They didn't ask for it.
They did something dumb one day,
like kiss you or smile at you,
and then your life
isn't your own anymore.
Love takes hostages.
It gets inside you.
It eats you out and
leaves you crying in the darkness,
so simple a phrase like
'maybe we should be just friends'
turns into a glass splinter
working its way into your heart.
It hurts.
Not just in the imagination.
Not just in the mind.
It's a soul-hurt,
a real gets-inside-you-and-rips-you-apart pain.
I hate love.

Written on Sept 10, 2010