Comments : Starlight(acrostic)

  • 12 years ago

    by Liliana

    I like it but you shouldnt have repeated wife twice, but overall in my opinion is a good poem 5/5

  • 12 years ago

    by lonerbabe

    Its a nice poem i lyk ur style of writin :)

  • 12 years ago

    by Hallucinostic

    This is really good. i enjoyed every interesting line youve written here. nice job brother Joseph dude, nice job.

  • 12 years ago

    by Jenni

    I think you've penned a quite good piece here though I think it does not flow as well as your other poems. I like the depth it reached and think that the words are powerful.

  • 12 years ago

    by Dark Secrets

    I like your start... enthusiastic and strong, and then it goes on to a slower beat. You choice of words was interesting and nice;

    "And her pure and untempered soul
    Revealed her beauty inscribed on a dozen scrolls"

    ^ love those lines

    This line is a bit confusing;
    "Have'nt the world but deep within my dishevelled soul lies my heart glowing bright"

    It seems like you have two lines put into one with no link, "Have'nt the world" suggests that the world is the subject, but you are... I would suggest not to keep the abbreviation, instead write Have not the world and then link it with the other sentence (if I got the meaning correctly) by showing that you do not want the world but her... So the line would be;
    Have not the world, but drown within my dishevelled soul lying as my heart glows bright

    Other than that... great write! and lovely ending :)

  • 12 years ago

    by Robert Gardiner

    Nice Work!!!

  • 12 years ago

    by Giegielove Goddess Poet

    So cute poem. 5 for ya. keep it up the good work!

  • 12 years ago

    by average thoughts

    I always like ur poems ,,,sry fr commenting late ,,,write some more poems ,,