I absolutly loved it :)
it described the way i have been feeling and its just great :D

I loved your choice of words and how it flowed well......this is a great piece jessie..
5/5

I loved your choice of words and how it flowed well......this is a great piece jessie..
5/5

I was intrigued by the title which seemed farely simple but I had a little forseight that this would be really good and I WAS RIGHT
This piece was really well worded, it just flowed well and had so much great imagery that really spoke to the reader
and the message and ideas were really good too, maybe not original, but they spoke in a way that was really thought out.

A great piece
Love
Tara

This appears like one big metaphor; a broken train being the description for one's life, one which they cannot currently control.

"lurching has caused me to fall,
collision of my head to something hard
I feel the pain, but that is normal
dizziness overwhelming
Ill say hello to the fetal position. Tears."

^^ This stanza was particularly effective in conveying that this is not something that's new to the persona. The description on pain not being a new feeling makes the reader think the person's life has been dwindling for a while, and this is a mere other bump in the road (possibly putting that lightly!) Also the "I'll say hello..." line also reiterates that this is not something new; the person greets the fetal position as if it is a friend.

A very interesting piece.