Well this poem seems to be coming from a pretty dark place, the likes of which none of your others have been able to achieve. this is a vast improvement in vocabulary. again the flow is a little off, and your rhyme scheme has a little ways to go. other than that this was amazing, seems as if your writing has gone to a brand new level. Great Job!

Wow, very sad and somewhat angry. something coming from the heart I can see, and whatever that comes from the heart, it must be real. Nice one.

This poem certainly explains your anger/hurt in a very literal manner....I read/see/hear your words, but I don't feel them. Can you explain it to more in more abstract and poetic ways? but I like what you were trying to do... 3/5 GOOD EFFORT!

I loved this poem.
You wrote from your heart & thats all that matters :).
The pain you feel shows through & how much you hate him pours out.
Great Job
5/5

This piece is something different from your side.Loved it.

Hi Ash,

I'm certainly no expert here. I prefer poetry that is abstract and symbolic, rather than literal. If you want to talk about your heart and emotions, sometimes you can let those be represented by something else...such as a season, Springtime, typically represent youth/love in poetry, and winter death and sadness...

Just cleaning up your last poem...sometimes less (words) are more

You play with the heart that let you inside?
You made it cry bloody tears. Without looking back,
your cold indifference to a loving heart.

Honest fates want retribution,
hellfire will burn your fall.
Mercy itself laugh at your misery.

Never again will I cry.
Crumble to the ground, wallow in your sadness, your betrayal.
Pain is your comfort alone.

Or...

The cold let you inside, but you stole the warmth and let it spill out in your own bloody tears.
Heartache is beyond your bounds, but you have given mine.

The fates will turn cold and the retribution
will be that of the....and so on.

For me poetry uses symbolism and flowery/fruity language..don't be afraid to hang it out there...don't just tell me your hurt and pissed-off....who isn't...explain it to me poetically

This is a very good poem :) u wrote it beautifully and the title is perfect and fate will decide... Great poem :) :) 5/5

Wow nice poem but you seem really hurt but you just knew how you describe that it is so honest true and sensetive bravo

Damn really deep and raw