Failure?

Coming from a family full of service members, you feel the need to do the same as you grow. Not because anyone says you're obligated to, but because they taught you the reasons as to why someone should protect their country and it's people. Not because you want glory, but because you know it's right. Finally the day comes and you're future is set.

You go through MEPS. You think about quitting once or twice during bootcamp, but then something sparks inside of you and convinces you all of this hell is worth something bigger than yourself. You train hard. You attend countless schools to learn your skills. Then when it's all done, you go to work. You've worked and waiting so hard and so long for your MOS. Then you wake up and it's all in your hands. The feeling of failing during bootcamp has changed to a feeling of pride for making it through mixed with a fear of now failing at your job and the risk of losing friends in a far off country.

Most people, civilian and soldier, choose a job that they know there will be a chance of 100 percent success. Something they don't have to be afraid of failing at. But some people risk everything and choose an occupation that they will "fail" at eventually. No matter how much you learn, no matter how much you train, no matter how much intelligence and experience you have, you will always "fail" at one point or another. I am one of those people who took that risk.

I decided to become a Combat Flight Medic in the United States Army. Some may be asking themselves how can a Medic fail, their job is saving people. That very question you may be asking, subtly answers itself. Whether it's a Medic's first patient or after ten years on the job, a Medic will always at some point lose someone they are trying to save. We can do everything in our knowledge to save someone, work unstopped for hours, and sometimes for unknown reasons, no matter what we do, we cannot save them. Every Medic's job is a whirlwind of thankfulness and hell.

Someone once asked me why I picked a job that I knew well ahead of time that I would eventually fail at, not once but countless times. Why would I pick a job that would keep me lying awake at nights, sometimes unable to forget the people I could not save. A job that would always leave me with internal struggles in my mind and my heart. My answer will always be... I choose to be a Medic because yes, at times I will lose people I will never be able to forget, but nothing replaces the feeling of being there for someone and helping them through when they feel as if there is no hope. It's not a God complex and in no way a glory way of thinking. It is the thought of knowing that because of what we did, that person gets to wake up to another day. See their family and friends, know the feeling of having a smile on their face or sharing a laugh with someone at least one more time. Knowing that that person gets to live another day and make a difference. No matter how small that difference may be, it will always be worth it in my eyes.

All I ask of anyone who might read this is that you try to stay thankful for anyone and everyone who risks their lives in anyway to try and help or save others. Please keep in your hearts and minds every soldier risking their lives for our freedom, every soldier that has sacrificed their freedom for our own freedoms and liberties, every Medic, military and civilian, trying to save someone so they may live another day, every firefighter risking their lives to try and save other lives and property, every doctor, nurse, and surgeon working countless hours to keep someone's loved one alive and healthy and our police officers working to try and make our communities a better place. There are so many more people to keep in mind and be thankful for, I have only listed a few. And just so you know, we don't work just so someone can tell us thank you, but coming from someone who knows personally... Civil servants and soldiers don't hear thank you nearly enough. So if you ever get the opportunity to say thank you to someone who has or still does risk their life for others, please do not pass on such a wonderful and heart warming opportunity.

(Personal Note: I'm not sure if what I have written technically qualifies as a poem, but it's something I felt the need to share with all of you. I hope it helps you stop, think and remember everyone in our society working so hard for lives and freedoms for at least a moment. Just to give you a small understanding of why I wrote this, I have decided to share some personal information I do not tend to share with strangers. Like I previously stated I come from a family full of civil servants. Everywhere from soldiers to firefighters to nurses. My grandfather on my mothers side was in the Navy during World War II, my grandfather on my father's side served in the Canadian military. My father was in the Navy as a Firefighter and then become a Firefighter once he left the Navy. He passed away in the line of duty as a civilian firefighter in a structural fire when I was 10. My brother from my father's side become a Marine as soon as he turned 18 and passed away in Iraq in 2004 as a Gunnery Sergeant. My brother on my mother's side enlisted in the Army as a Specialist repairing helicopters and passed away in Afghanistan in 2011. My cousin on my mother's side is currently serving in the United States Air Force. My mother use to work as an Emergency Room nurse. There are so many more but they are the main ones in my family. I myself enlisted in the United States Army at the age of 18 and became a Combat Flight Medic and served with the 101st Airborne out of Fort Campbell. I served a tour in Iraq and become medically injured during my second tour based in Afghanistan. I was later medically discharged. As a civilian I have worked as a Firefighter and a Medic. I was medically injured during my time as a Firefighter and was put on medical disability. These are some of the reasons why it is so important to me that people remain thankful for everyone risking their lives for others and everyone who has made the ultimate sacrifice.)