There is a glut of emotion in this piece. I think you have done an amazing job. Excellent job, I see a lot of talent and hope in you. Keep practicing and one day your poetry may make you big.

On to this piece. Awesome word choice, though it isn't as stunning as I would have hopped. You are lacking in flow and grip. This seems to be pure emotion and steam which can make or break a poem. The author's voice is shown but it is quite weak. I like this piece, but it is unorigonal and it has nothing to make it stand out. To be quite honest it is plain and I see so much room for improvement.

I know I sound cruel here, but I hope you can forgive me and maybe you will just learn from this piece. Then again, this is just my opinion and someone else may love this. Keep up the writing and I will keep reading.

Thanks. for the comment. and yu didnt sound mean. yu told me like it is.
thanks

Oh nice. Love it

Oh nice. Love it

Oh nice. Love it